Husband Is Bipolar

my husband is bipolar and i'm on the edge of insanity. anytime the children or i try to spend time with him he gets angry. he refuses to help with our two children that are still in diapers. he gets mad if he misses out on his War of World Craft time. he is sparatic with money, i try to help him with his budjet and legal papers, school paper work and he yells that i'm just like his mom who he claims to hate. or i'm just like his sisters. if i want to spend time with my friends he thinks he has to be there. calling or texting if he's not. but if we are home at the same time its a chore to spend time with me and the kids. i'm not perfect. but i cant deal with this. also if the kids get into anything he left in there reach it's my fault. he leaves sharpies and name tags with sharp pins, knifes ect where the children can easily reach. i am contantly re-baby proofing the house. which cleaning the house is 100% womans work in his eyes. i was working a full time job with benifets that paid 3 dollars more on the hour than him, but i was made to quit my job. and i am not allowed to work, or get paid more than him. i feel like he has to keep me under him. he allso expexts are kids to behave like they are 6 years olf rather than 7 months old and 2. he curses at both of them, and the oldest is expected to never make a mess or leave a toy out. Should i even try any more?
chris87m chris87m
22-25
4 Responses Jul 30, 2010

You may love your (unmedicated bipolar) husband, and you may feel your marriage vows are as important today as they were when you first spoke them. You should also know that bipolar disorder is genetic, therefore, hereditary and for life. Medication and therapy are available to relieve symptom. However, if the bipolar person is unwilling to accept the reality of their condition, you should know your daily life and that of your children will always be subject to the bipolar disorder as well. Speaking of the children, you are at an advantage here on behalf of your children as you know what to look for and can seek the appropriate therapies (or medication) for them when symptoms begin to manifest. Of course, do due diligence for yourself, your children and your spouse in gathering as much information and support as you can. Do not be afraid to ask for help because you will need it. Divorce may be in the best interest of the children in order to preserve some sense of normalcy (assuming you do not have bipolar disorder) and limit your husband's access and unsupervised interaction with your children. Be prepared for the tantrum but strong in the knowledge that what you do, you do for your children's sake and your own sanity. We must remember not to discriminate against the mentally ill but try to help them live normal, productive lives as all humans should. When this is not possible and available alternatives are met with disdain and denial, there are remedies and protections for those friends and families who need not be subjected to the mental illness unnecessarily. Children are precious and so are you. Get the help you need to help those you love...Married 23 years to bipolar husband.

Being a family does not have to mean living together. You can still love him and have a relationship with him and not live in the same house. You have a responsibility to your children to provide a stable home. Sounds like the current one is abusive to the children as well as you. Leaving and gaining some independence may be the slap in the face he needs to get his act together and see a doctor. You don't have to stop loving him or sleeping with him or spending time with him. Get your own roof. There are agencies who can help. Make sure you fully communicate with your husband so he knows what your doing every step of the way. He may become abusive if he feels he's losing control, so communication from you will make him feel more in control. If he's frightening you, be sure to verbalize "you're frightening me!".<br />
PS - he may be finding he's overstimulated by all the people in the house. It may be good for him to have the space.

U can love him and be there for him but he has to want to help himself. If he wont go to counceling or get put on meds and take them every day, theres nothing u can do. U cant cure him, u cant fix him. Its up to him to help himself. Hes a danger to you and ur kids unmedicated. If u decide to leave him call the national domestic violence hotline. They can help u find recources in ur area, give u emotional support, and advice on how to get away safely. Whatever u decide i wish u good luck!

CAN YOU TELL ME WHY YOU HAD ONE CHILD WITH HIM, LET ALONE TWO.... WE CAN ALL MAKE ONE MISTAKE, BUT YOU WENT AHEAD AND HAD ANOTHER KID WITH HIM.....HELLO, YOU MUST TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY YOURSELF... YOU DONT SAY IF YOU A MUSLIM WOMAN, BUT IT SURE SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE BY THE WAY HE IS TREATING YOU... GO TO THE POLICE, A WOMANS REFUGE, YOUR FAMILY, .....<br />
<br />
THE ANSWER IS QUITE SIMPLE.....LEAVE HIM.

its not that simple..