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Love Worth Living.

My name is Becky, I have been married for 5 years and we have been together for over 20 years. We have 5 kids. My husband has untreated bi-polar disease.
Bleaf Bleaf 31-35 5 Responses Oct 13, 2010

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I absolutely can relate. I have been going crazy thinking NO one understands the misery , hell, torment of life is like and you just wish to God for a glimmer of hope. It so horrible to live like this and especially when you have children

Becky, We sound like we're pretty much in the same boat. Feel free to contact me...could use a pen pal. My husband is medicated but it doesn't help all that much. My daughter is getting married in 4 weeks and he just blew up at her. Made me cry. She doesn't want him to walk her down the aisle...how sad is that?

Hi Becky,<br />
I have been with my husband for 23 years and it has only gotten worse. I totally relate to what you said. When it's good, it is wonderful. When it's bad, well it is real bad. My older children won't come around anymore but I do talk to them almost daily. They just can't stand his drama. I have a teenager at home and I can see where it is affecting him now. He knows something is not right and I am afraid to tell him not knowing how my husband will react. My husband refuses to go to a doctor. I love him but I really don't know how I can stay in this marriage. I feel alone most of the time. I have to pick my words, never know whats going to set him off. Bi-polar is a bad disease. If I am asked a question, I don't know how I should answer it. Is there ever a right answer? I don't feel like this is a marriage anymore. I feel like the bars are holding me in. I am happy for you that you can turn a blind eye, and maybe things aren't that bad in your household. I am just asking for a prayer to get me through whatever me and my son may have ahead of us. Thanks for listening.

Just keep that smile big. The girls look to me for what to do when Daddy is in a "bad mood". They learned when to keep their distance. Yesterday blew up badly, but I made sure the girls were outside first. He knows that if he ever were to touch them, we'd be gone. Or me for that matter. So I keep smiling, hoping for the storm to pass soon. It always does eventually. I was up at 2 this morning, and found this website, because i couldn't take it anymore. I lay awake at night saying all the things in my head that I know I can't say to him. I feel better knowing you all are in my boat, so to speak. The down times are horrendous but the ups are filled with much love and joy. I didn't marry him to leave him. My mantra most days is "Suck it up, hold it together, and stay strong." I stay strong for me, and our girls. You can either bail and run or stay and fight the challenge. I decided to stay. I'm a fighter. I fight for our family.

Hi Becky. I'd like to know how you deal with the depression. Especially around the kids. If you're all in the same house, how does it not get out of hand?