Family Of Six Walking On Egg Shells


I guess I am here to feel not so alone.
I do not know why I am still married to my unmedicated bp/borderline husband. After almost 8 years being together and married for alomost 6 this Feb. Another cycle has come and gone leaving my reality more crystal clear after each episode. I am a list person so here goes my self awareness check list of what my reality is.

- My bp/Borderline started mood stablilizers but missed the Manic so he will not take any meds
- During Cycle My bp husband passively emotionally abuses me
- My husband has only his own self interest in his best interest not mine or our 4 kids
- Two of my kids are bp husband step sons he shows no interest in their lives
- Two of my kids are bp husbands biological kids both under ages 6 he pushes them away more often than show of attention
- My bp husband never shows any interest in satisfying me in the bedroom
-My bp husband satisfies himself in shower and with online **** we have sex maybe 3 times a month
-My bp husband refuses to explore or show any desire to get to know me.
- My bp husband drinks more than he should
- My BP husband Works excessively long hours in silicon valley as a Sr. Director for Tech company as he tells me " This feeds his ego"

I can keep going but these jump out most.

I know I  am still married because my self esteem is low

Angar Angar
36-40, F
Nov 30, 2012