I guess I am here to feel not so alone.
I do not know why I am still married to my unmedicated bp/borderline husband. After almost 8 years being together and married for alomost 6 this Feb. Another cycle has come and gone leaving my reality more crystal clear after each episode. I am a list person so here goes my self awareness check list of what my reality is.

- My bp/Borderline started mood stablilizers but missed the Manic so he will not take any meds
- During Cycle My bp husband passively emotionally abuses me
- My husband has only his own self interest in his best interest not mine or our 4 kids
- Two of my kids are bp husband step sons he shows no interest in their lives
- Two of my kids are bp husbands biological kids both under ages 6 he pushes them away more often than show of attention
- My bp husband never shows any interest in satisfying me in the bedroom
-My bp husband satisfies himself in shower and with online **** we have sex maybe 3 times a month
-My bp husband refuses to explore or show any desire to get to know me.
- My bp husband drinks more than he should
- My BP husband Works excessively long hours in silicon valley as a Sr. Director for Tech company as he tells me " This feeds his ego"

I can keep going but these jump out most.

I know I  am still married because my self esteem is low

Angar Angar
36-40, F
1 Response Dec 2, 2012

You are definitely not alone. My wife and I would be divorced now had she not agreed to see a doctor. I recommend that you gather support from friends, family, and counselors, and make your husband understand that you and your children will leave if he does not find help. Follow through if he does not agree – it will be better for both your and your children.