Childhood On The Edge Of The World. Part 2

The first time you find a suicided girl is a surreal experience. They were left with nothing but a small child cannot understand this. My parents would flip every time they found one and tried their hardest to shelter it from me but its not easy when it happens so often.

My experience with racism in some ways traumatized me and became part of my identity in some deap seated way. It was like seggregation or appartied was in effect. White people sat at the front of the bus, were served last in line, and reffered to as pallangi and spat on in the street. I became subservient, quiet and scared of those around me.

After suffering from a life threatening disease out there and losing half my body mass, my parents decided life in the islands was not in the best interests of our growing family. We;d lived in samoa, fiji, vanuatu, tongga, the solomons, and eventually New zealand, where the worst of the racism occured. i try to forget those 6 months of my life ever existed. I became pakea instead of pallangi. one racial slur for another.

When we finally moved here, and i was surrounded by my own kind, i fealt alone amongst them as i had no idea how to be or act like one of them. i had no friends and no way to make friends. i did eventually but it took time, and i never could hold down friendships for long. my experiences and accent were so alien to them that they had no way of relating to me at all.

High school was another story for another time.

liam25aus liam25aus
22-25, M
Jan 7, 2013