I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 1 year. We have 2 kids together. Our son is 5 and our daughter is 1. When I met my husband I knew he drank. I was 17 and he was 21. We used to drink and party together a lot. I didnt think it was a problem until we moved in together. He had to drink every day to feel normal. Starting at 9am he had to go to the liquor store. He has been diagnosed with Agoraphobia and he has been using alcohol to self medicate for a very long time. Over the years he has cut down a lot. He used to drink a huge bottle of Vodka everyday and now he is down to two 40 oz beers a day. Recently we got him a doctor appointment and put on medication for his anxiety attacks and agoraphobia. I told him he can either have his medication or his alcohol. He chose his medication. He quit drinking Friday Sept. 11 2009. Everything was going great. He felt like a new person. He even acted like a new person. He helped me with the kids, did chores, didnt take naps every day, I got to study and do my homework without having to stay up until 3am, etc. It was great. Last Sunday he drank 3 beers from a six pack while watching the Bronco game. He said he could handle it and after he drank them he felt horrible and said he cant handle it and wont drink again. Last night he asked if I could go to the store and get tartar sauce. I was busy doing my homework so I said I would prefer it if he went. He took a longer time than usual at the store and when I asked why he said the cashier was slow. About a half hour later he told me he went to the liquor store and drank a small bottle of 90 proof peppermint schnapps and he was drunk. We got in an argument and I tried to ignore him while he was drunk but I couldnt this time. He blames me for his problem and I dont know what to do. I have so much on my plate with a full time job, full time college, 2 kids, 2 dogs, and a house to take care of. I cant handle having to watch my husband too. Last night I had to search his car for alcohol. I cant handle this. I love him but I dont think this tough love is working. He has been in jail for 30 days for his DUI, I left him 3 times and he has crashed 2 cars because of his drinking during the time we werent together because no one else will take his keys away from him when he is drunk. Nothing gets through to him. He has bleeding stomache ulsers and he throws up blood when he is drunk. I need help and support and I dont know what to do. I am tired of him blaming me and telling me that if I loved him more he can stop drinking. This past week I have failed my Marketing test because when he said he needed to spend time with me because he feels like drinking I dropped my books and we went and did something to take his mind off drinking. It worked and he made it through a week. Now he is back to drinking and I failed my test for nothing. I am going to an al-anon class tonight to learn about this disease. He refuses to go to AA meetings and get help. I obviously cant help him so I might as well give up and get a really nice life insurance policy on him because he wont make it past 40.