Perfect Disaster

no matter how hard i try, how long i study, how long i try to make friends, or how long i try to do everything my parents tell me...i will never be perfect. i always mess it up, dissapoint people, let myself down, and look back wondering wtf ever made me think i could be like everybody else. i'll never be popular--people just dont like me idk why, i'll never find real love--cause she perfect, understands me, is way smarter than me, but lives in canada...damnit why didnt i run away from NYC to Canada that one time?, i'll never be a good student like everyone else--its just who i am no matter how much you compare me to all the other people with standardized tests, i'll never be perfect--no matter how hard i try to impress my new parents i can never be perfect like their own kids...its like they said i'm the perfect disaster that just moved the one everyone gets their hopes up for and is always dissapointed when i fail, fall flat on my face after giving it everything i have in me. i make all the mistakes nobody has made before--nobody knows how to fix it cause they never screwed it up that bad before. my dreams are just that, dreams--rich executives, doctors, lawyers, pilots, marine archeologists...i can never be that b/c i'll be "flipping burgers my whole life" if i dont make perfect grades, if i dont conform to the norm, if i dont force myself to fit into the ideal mold for who is considered perfect....whatever, i give least im good at one thing--i make one hell of a good perfect disaster, sorry.
AquilaAqua AquilaAqua
18-21, M
1 Response Jan 5, 2013

Trying to be perfect cripples you.
I think that you are a good and worthwhile person. Do the best you can. then let it go.