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Missing....basic Information?

 A recent survey concluded that a startling number of men don't know basic information about their partners. The results were definitely surprising, and if I'm honest I felt for these long suffering women whose husbands didn't know things such as their eye colour or date of birth. Of course, it's true that women are naturally more observant, and so notice things that men don't, but even so....date of birth? Eye colour? 

I really couldn't believe that men could be so clueless, but it did raise a bigger question. Unobservant or disinterested? Is not noticing something that you see every day really about power of observation or could it be that the subject is just not interesting enough to be observed in the first place?

It niggled at me all day, and so I brought it up with my partner, ironically he seemed quite disinterested! Still, on this occasion he decided to humour me. At this point I was actually feeling quite sorry for the women whose husbands had been surveyed. I mean, imagine your partner not knowing such basic information. So, I asked the question, somewhat smugly, I confess....."so what colour are my eyes"? Without hesitation my partner replied "that's easy, they're brown". I should have been smiling, probably should have been happy that he answered without pausing or squinting to get a last minute look. Apart from the fact that.....MY EYES ARE BLUE!!! Always have been, always will be.....BLUE.

So, you can imagine that this went down...like a lead balloon. Here was me pitying the women whose husbands were clueless and here was I - one of them. This then prompted a quick fire round of questioning, many of which he got wrong. This did nothing for my self esteem, and I certainly did not leave this conversation feeling any way special. 

It did get me wondering whether men only notice things that are relevant to, or that will have a direct impact on them. I notice every little detail about my other half, I know which aftershave he prefers, I notice which brand of toothpaste he prefers, I notice when he is feeling like he's getting old and do my best to make him feel good. I know him pretty much inside out. I remember things about our early dating when we had favourite restaurants, I remember what films we went to see, because all of that stuff is important to me. 

Perhaps women just have an emotional response to memories and information about their partners. Maybe we do this because it means something to us when someone remembers something personal about us. If my friend gives me a gift and it's a book I mentioned months before I'm touched. If someone cooks my favourite meal it means more because they put some thought behind it. 

I'm learning that just because sentiment means something to me, doesn't mean it's going to have the same effect on my partner. For example, today I heard a discussion between some older women, they were talking about not wanting to be alone. Thinking that I would feel the same at their age, said as much to my partner also saying it must be horrible at the thought of being alone....he replied to say there are times when he'd quite like to be alone and single! 

I have come to the conclusion that either every day I'm learning something new about the male species....or else I'm barking up the wrong tree altogether!! I'll keep you posted! 

 

 

 

 

writingbug78 writingbug78 31-35, F 6 Responses Mar 1, 2010

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My wife's eyes are hazel, her birthday is March 3, our anniversary is July 15 (42 years) she is size 0, shoe size 6, our first kiss was in September of 1971 (you can mark me down for not knowing the exact date), on her 16th birthday I took her to an Italian restaurant and gave her a promise ring, her love languages are "acts of service" and "words of affirmation," she is a ISTJ on the Myers/Briggs...shall I go on??? Just sayin' all men are not clueless.

Numbers and colors? Who cares. A good man cares about the heart. Not numbers or colors.

Men and women are wired very differently. When I was 19, the girl across the street had a cute bum, and a boyfriend. So I didn't approach her, but on occasion when I saw her around town, I would recognize her if all I saw was the seat of her jeans. So I might not take note of her eye color, but the distinctive shape of her rear I had down exactly.<br />
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Men and women take note of different things about one another, or maybe just put different priorities on what they notice. I have stared into the lovely eyes of a girlfriend for hours, and been unable to remember their color the next day, but I remembered exactly the non-verbal communication in them.<br />
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We're very diffent and not just on the outside. Viva la difference!

brainscanhug....interesting theory but I'm liking your train of thought!

Men are the product of our culture. It would be weird for him to care.

How about being with a sissy!!! We are very attentive and caring!!!

Good point, very good point!!