18 Year Nightmare.

My childhood was an 18 year nightmare. I was physically and emotionally abused by both my parents.
My father was a police officer but never held back from hitting or punching me. I never could do anything right and was never shown any affection. The worst occasion was when I was about 5 when he held me up by a leg and beat me with a stick on my bare backside to try and get me to confess to scrumping. I had no idea what he was talking about so I could not admit it so he carried on beating me. I ended up in hospital for stitches to a wheel in my backside. They made up a story about me catching myself on a nail. I was humiliated and punched throughout my childhood.

My mother though was even worse. She must have hated me from birth. I never knew when I was going to be slapped across my face, if I cried, she would then carry on hitting me saying I am going to carry on hitting you until you stop crying. How does that work?
From as long as I can remember I was dressed in girls knickers, like the old fashioned gym knickers but white. If I did the slightest thing wrong I would be slapped if I cried she would hit me again and again and then say " If you cry like a baby I am going to treat you like a baby" she would then ***** me to my girls knickers and vest and have to stay that way for the rest of the day no matter who was around. My sisters friends used to tease me without mercy and led to me being bullied and teased at school.

I was never shown any affection by my mother either I think she stayed awake at night thinking of ways to humiliate me.

I never had any friends round my house I .dare not. but in a strange way I enjoyed the girls laughing at me I suppose it was some sort of psychological reaction. I still wear white cotton knickers and like showing them off and being laughed at. Do I need help or do I just need to meet a girl who would laugh at me.

I never had anything to do with my parents and i now know my mother is dead.
tinatim tinatim
56-60, T
1 Response Jan 19, 2013

Thanks for the thought but it has not worked like that xxx