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Lost And Found?

When I was younger I decided that after My parents got divorced I wouldn't survive. I had wanted to die for years, when I was just four I wanted to just die, and I prayed for it all the time. I had an amazing memory, but punched holes in memories I didn't like or thought were unnecessary. When I turned eight I made a pact with a mysterious guy i met on the street and that's when things got started.
Have you ever heard of gifts sent from heaven? Sometimes that's what I think they are, I have brief little quirks (gifts) I've been powering through for years. While I wasn't myself, I received several gifts I used for personal gain, such as I could kill spiders, flies , crickets, and other bugs with just a thought, and I had the worlds best of luck. These Quirks had drawbacks though. The bug one made all bugs attracted to my eyes.. (yes I know that's weird, but have you ever had a cicada try to fly into your eye twice at a football game days after you started doing something new?... Thought not.) As for the luck one, my luck would run out catastrophically every now and then. A friend of mine was shot, another was hit by a car, My sister beat me up, and my favorite; My house that was haunted burned down to the ground.
("well maybe you're just cursed") There is no way I'm cursed, but that's just an opinion. A few years ago I was met in a dream by a guy around my age named Sky, I think he might be my guardian Angel, he told me that the other me would leave if I found a way to loosen its grip, I think Sky might have been a new quirk. He was kind, he wore a gold flowing coat all the time and told me everything I was missing, that's when I got a bit free. Then I could see what the other me was doing. She kind of sucked at being me. At first she cried a lot, but eventually she made friends, I tried to tell them "It's not me" and "help me I'm in here," to no avail. When it started lying I got a little more free, and every time I tried to tell those poor people it was lying, It told more lies. It was utterly hopeless, until I got another Quirk. I can now dream of the past before and after I was born. However the drawback of this is like I tried to eat a coffee table with my temple. This eventually after a week drove the thing almost completely crazy, and I regained control. So now after almost 9 years I'm free...
This might be a good thing, I can undo all the things it did, but I have a bad feeling. I have a boyfriend now and I remember the thing acted very similar to me to get him to like me. then not too long ago he told me that he knew me before we met, he had a dream of me and this guy talking to him and helping him out. I don't remember doing that, but it's too much of a coincidence. Gift or curse, I am still back and I don't plan on ever leaving again. I am going to try and keep most of the friends it made, but I definitely need to change how they see me. I still have a weird obsession with death though,but I don't plan on dying if I can help it. I guess the thing in my shoes really taught me how precious life is and how my life would look if I were some crazed lying scary thing that hurts people. If I could do things over I would, but it's too late now. "You can't change the past, you can only see it, hide it, or move forward."
Missing22Aquarius Missing22Aquarius 18-21, F Mar 24, 2012

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