Saturday Night...

... And I'm sitting here on "my" couch. It's the weekend, so I thought maybe we would have a fun family day. No such luck. My kid and I had fun playing, but "he" was too grumpy to participate. Too tired, to sick, to whatever- there's always an excuse. Now it's almost 9pm and I, of course, hope for some grown up time. Don't get me wrong- I don't ask for sex or any kind of touching anymore. I only ask for conversation. Maybe something that resembles adults sharing ideas, dreams, passions.... That never works here, though. Ever. Then he sees me typing on my phone. He gets annoyed "why aren't you watching TV? Can u HEAR me? What are you doing?" I take a breath... "Typing, I say. I'm writing someone back." He would never check what I'm doing- he just doesn't care. Then he starts being nasty and ridiculous. Just downright obnoxious. He knows I hate that so he does it. Anything to get under my skin. I used to lash out but I know it's not worth it anymore. Just upsets the situation. I don't need my child waking up to two parents fighting. I stay in my little spot, hoping to find release through someone- anyone. A text, phone call, email... Anything. Nothing. I resort to my profile on here. It makes me feel a bit better. Ok, it's not personal contact but its SOMETHING. It helps me through. It saves me- from tonight, at least. And for that, I thank you.
Shipsonariver Shipsonariver
36-40, F
7 Responses Dec 1, 2012

Our lives seem so similar, except that I have recently packed up myself and my four boys and left the relationship. Not an easy decision, but I feel it was for the best and the children have adjusted fairly well. It matters to them and is important that I'm happy above all. I have my good days and my bad days but I know it was for the best. All I wanted was a family to do family things together and a partner for support thru the good and bad eventually I decided if he wants to be none of these and just put me down and criticize my efforts then hell, I was already raising these boys on my own for the mist part so it wasn't a huge leap to actually become a single parent. My beat advice after 5 yrs of accomodating his excuses is that it isn't fair to expect him to change, for either of u. So decide if ur ok with thus as the rest of your life or if you need a change and then make that change happen for yourself. Sending good vibes. Know your worth and remember your child will likely be what he/she sees...

I just dealt with the same thing and actually cancelled an engagement and wedding one month before the day. It had gotten worse over the year we were engaged. I tried bringing it up but got scorned for making her feel bad. So I tried joking and that was bad also. Asked for therapy and **** went downhill fast. You may need to "do what you gotta do"

You are a great mother for thinking of your child before yourself. However, it does seems like a bad marriage. I am only 20 but even I can see that you long for something else. Well here in EP we can all provide support.

Thank you. I do long for something else... but I\'m just afraid to be selfish and go after what I want and break my child\'s heart.

Don\'t worry, a child can tell things are not alright. In the long run it does seem like it wouldn\'t be such a great idea to continue this for your child\'s sake. Sometimes people need to think for themselves as well as it can lead to affecting others in a positive way.

Hi shipsonariver, Just wanted to say hello and let you know I have thought about you today, and AM thinking and dreaming about you tonight. You will be in my dreams, and we will be cuddling and making out, slowly undressing each other in front of the fireplace. A glass of wine in one hand, and your breast in the other. Sucking slowly and deeply on your nipples, taking turns, being fair to each one. Know I will think of you often, and dream of you nightly.

I understand how you are feeling,I to come here and enjoy some great conversations for us in the same boat.I feel for you and hope that something good happens for you and that your situation changes for the better one day.
Thank you for sharing your story.

Shipsonariver, I know exactly what you are going through, except I am on the other end of the spectrum. My wife does not want to be touched. If I rub her ****, play with her nipples through her shirt, she slaps my hand away, hollers stop it. I will playfully rub her ***** through her sweat pants, which at one time, would have her naked in short order. Not anymore. Now she gets mad at me, tells me to leave her alone. She is NOT in the mood. She is never in the mood. It has been over a year since we have had sex. I am about to explode, literally. I need a woman, who wants to be held, who wants romance, cuddling together, making slow love, or a really intense ****. Dirty talk, being a little rough with each other, maybe some anal, some oral sex, a good 69? I need to *** deep in a woman. I need to feel her ***** pulsate on my ****, as she **** all over my ****. And as soon as she ****, feel my balls tighten, and shoot load after load of hot *** deep into her cervix. I also want a family. My wife cannot have kids, so I would be so HAPPY to meet a woman with child, (children), who needs a man/father in their lives. Possibly someone who also wants another child. So, I can experience with her the pregnancy, the newborn baby. The late night breast feeding, the changing diapers. The romance of having a new life in our house. While, keeping the fires burning in each other. Maybe someday I will find what I long for.

I hate to say it, but groping your wife when she doesn't want to be touched like that is probably actually making things worse for you. How many women get turned on by a guy pawing at them, especially after being told "no"? Why should your wife be any different?

i do understand your longing for intimacy, which doesnt always necessarily mean sexually,
the thought occurs to me reading your posts, is your husband for whatever reason is not talking to you honestly, and the Q is why? i was so used to being insular, it took me a very long time to learn to talk about how im feeling and that it was ok to , and to be able to trust so that i could talk, many years and three relationships... so i dont know what the issues are but does you husband feel that safe and secure to be able to talk to you? you might think of course he can talk to me, but mabye he doesnt? i could be way off track,
but ive learnt one very important lesson, trust is everything in a relationship. just something for you to consider. I hope things get better, just remember your not alone, although it may feel that way, im one of thousands , millions who understands what your craving.