Never Easy..

Don't understand those people who just meet someone they feel butterflies, the other person is available and feels the same, and they soon become a couple. I feel butterflies and the person is taken, I'm not their type, or who knows what else. If I feel repulsion, however,you probably love me. Spend my time getting rejected by those I'm interested in, and trying not to hurt the feelings of those I'm not.. When do I finally have it flow and come easily... A mutual attraction that develops into something natural ? Hate to feel sorry for myself, but after an experience this weekend getting stalked by this girls ex andthen having them get back together so I'm the one alone, again....well, woe is me ! and
Aubreyjean Aubreyjean
36-40, F
6 Responses Jan 16, 2013

i have been there .. someone came close to me to feel th gap , her loneliness .. but never truly have genuine feelings for me .. no matter how much i loved her , she jst kept playing absent n not really understanding .. but always wanting me to care , chase , love her .. loving all the attention .. but each time her Ex bf turning up , she back in his arm .. when he is not around or sometimes even with him , still wud love me be around as well ... bt never to love me , care for me bt jst not to be alone !! .. **** after 3 years today i find myself all alone .. sometimes i jst feel am the most stupid person on earth to love sm1 who never loved me .. was it naivety , stupidity , was it desperate need of having som1 .. or was it destiny , meeting someone who will change u forever ................. i guess we all experience something like this . it hurts ,, if hurts badly bt nothg can really be done abt it .. coz we cannot never force someone love n wana be with us .. FACT

That's the old saying...however it doesn't really work that way for all of us...I stopped searching for years and still nothing happened, and I wasn't making any effort to date and just sitting at home with my dog. I finally decided this is getting ridiculous I'm ready to tryagain...but just being met with the same kinds of experiences that made me give up and stop searching to begin with... So yeah my question arose from the fact that that supposedly happened to othersbut not me.

I agree that it's never easy. I cannot force a woman to like me just because I like her but neither can I dictate my heart to like another woman just because she likes me. It's easy to get attracted to someone who possesses the qualities I am looking for in a partner but I can't expect her to be attracted to me if I don't have the qualities she is looking for. I've come to understand that it's just the way life goes. Some are fortunate to find true love but some are not.

hmm the other person being with someone doesnt always mean a future relationship isnt possible...i was and still am married to my wife and just recently separated from her and am with that woman from work..i guess it all depends on if the other party in your case is content in her relationship...if that was the case then an attraction probably wouldnt have developed in the first place.... well thats my theory at least..if i was content from the get go i would never have allowed myself to be attracted to the woman from work..

Think that's part of my problem though guess I'm way too "nice" and just don't interfere... but on the flip side I'm not being too "nice" to myself :(

I met a lesbian at work who I had a crush on, she was attracted to me but living with someone and I'm her boss so yeah, those kind of dilemmas always in my way.

hmm not sure how you havent naturally felt mutual attraction and butterflies....granted the lesbian community is small and its not always easy identifying potential candidates...i met my current gf at my work just like the second we laid eyes on eachother it was just magical and it progressed to us passing eachother by in the hallway and wed just stare eachother down..and it just went from there...