I'm So Tired..

of explaining.. i just want to talk without really having to worry whether this person will think less of me.. i want someone who would understand.. that i'm just thinking out loud... i dont always believe everything i say!! sometimes i say things that i don't really mean or believe.. sometimes.. i'm the kind who is trying to convince myself just as i'm trying to convince you.. i'm simple and complicated.. i just want to feel that i don't really need to justify my actions and my reactions.. it is becoming like a trial and a jury.. very tiring.. i keep stuff to myself and try to keep my mouth shut.. but i burst in words sometimes.. some meaningful and some crap.. i just need to talk and thats all!! i've been silent all my childhood and teens.. it is only normal i over talk sometimes..

i often dream of smiling at someone.. and see them smile back.. and feel happy, satisfied heard and totally connected.. no need for words.. i wonder if i can meet someone like that someday.... :)