And I Am...

fuct because of that. -
I get it, I get it... This is not a wise choice for someone who is not as socially desired as a "normal" person, I have put in my time as far as socializing goes in my opinion, maybe my curiosity in people has been satisfied I don't know, all I know is that I want nothing to do with anyone, I used to love going out every night, having large circles of friends, adventures and traveling... I want none of it, I just want to read and paint and write.... So now I am having to teach myself how to have hope without outside influence, to just focus on what I'm doing and do it well, I can't worry about what's going on out there, I am learning about charging my own battery, feeding the creativity fire inside me so I can make something amazing and feel a little better about my existence on this planet for the very short time that my life will span. Hope? I don't have time to think about hope..... I'm scared that if I stopped to think about hope I might realize I do not have any so I just keep going and push it out of my mind... I just have to do what I'm doing, that is my hope.

arenaissancewoman arenaissancewoman
31-35, F
Feb 24, 2013