I'm So Tired Of Hearing That I Look So Young

I get so frustrated hearing from people that I will be so happy one day to look so young for my age. Well that's nice, tell me I look young when I get older, not now when I'm 25 and I hear from everyone that I'm 15. Why do people think that saying this is a compliment when you are only in your 20's?

One time I was at a makeup counter with my mom. The woman at the counter was waiting on my mom who got enough makeup to pick out something free. My mom told me I could pick out something and I had been eyeing this specific eye makeup so I said, " I would like to get this product" to which the girl replied, " OK well let's open it up and see if your mom approves." Are you KIDDING me? I was annoyed. I told her that my mom didn't need to approve my makeup because I'm 25. She tried to laugh it off but I must say it felt good to make her feel a bit uncomfortable. I hate that whenever I buy alcohol I constantly hear that I look 15 or younger. I use to just brush it off but after years of hearing this I just get annoyed. People need to come up with something else to say.

I also love the question: " What school do you go to?
" Oh I graduated a while ago." (Thinking the inquiring person is talking about college)
" Oh, well then what high school do you go to."
"Umm graduated from high school a long time ago too. Let me help you out, I also graduated college and I've been working for 4 years now in the real world."

I've tried makeup techniques, styling my hair differently, and I don't dress young for my age so I'm at a loss. I feel my size might have something to do with it too. I'm short and thin. Has anyone found some tips or techniques for making yourself look a bit older without it looking like you are playing dress up in mom's closet?
greeneyes32 greeneyes32 22-25 37 Responses Jan 17, 2011

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So after reading through these responses I would like to point something out. I'm 21, and I get mistaken for a 14 year old on a daily basis. It's frusterating to say the least.

But here's the thing, half of you are getting angry at people for honest mistakes and you can't do that. ANYONE would rather look younger than older for thier age, even though only those of us that actually do look younger know the pain, so we can't take our frustration out on those that are just making honest mistakes, now if they know you're older than you look and continue to make rude comments, then let the a**holes have it ;).

I have the same issue. I'm 34 years old and have worked in the public library for 9 years. I still deal with patrons that come in and ask me if I'm volunteering as a school project.
I get the "you will love it someday" speech on a regular basis. I've heard that now for 15 years and have yet to agree with it. How do you get people to respect you and listen to you when they think that you are a 16 year old???

Looking young as a guy or girl is wonderful, sure it's annoying when you're in your twenties but think about when you're in your 30's and in your prime. You look like you're in your twenties and can have any woman/man from 18-45+. If someone is narrow-minded and refuses to even talk to 30 yr olds, you can just lie to her/him and tell her your in your twenties and get your **** on. It's not like you'd want to marry that kind of narrow-minded person anyway. So yea, just wait. Women don't age as gracefully as men so trust me, you hit the genetic jackpot! One day, you'll see that I'm right.

You are all lucky that you are female. I'm in the same boat but im a guy. Looking young as a girl i think is a good thing. A lot of guys like it. A 26 year old guy looking like hes 16-17 on the other hand, well you can imagine how much more complicated it is.

I am currently 26. I've been getting comments about how young I look since before I can remember. I didn't take it too seriously until I graduated college and became a young professional. In my first professional job, women would come up to me and ask me if I had a degree and I would reply "yes, a bachelors in public relations" and one woman asked if my degree was a four year degree and I told her yes.. A bachelors typically takes four years to obtain. She then told me I looked too young to have a degree. I felt as though I received less respect because of how young I look. But I always just carried myself professionally. I also had an interview once where the interviewer asked me if I really had a degree "because they check those types of things" and I said yes I really do and she told me that I look so young. I clearly did not take that job. At a work event/fundraiser that I helped with two weekends ago, I grabbed my purse from under the registration table and a volunteer asked if she could help me and I kindly said sorry just getting my purse and she said so rudely "oh I thought you were some child!!" And then I grabbed my lipstick from my purse and the other volunteer told me I was too young for lipstick. I just replied that I am 26 which is old enough for lipstick and both volunteers just stared at me. I am engaged and last weekend I went to a triple a vacation expo and I went to one table and asked if there were more brochures of the offerings (I only saw one and didn't want to take her last copy) and she said some rude comment about it. My aunt then interjected and said "she is looking for a honeymoon, that's why she is curious" and the woman said in the most rude way anyone had ever commented on my age: "HONEYMOON?!!! What business do YOU have getting married? You look like you're about 12 years old!! You are not old enough to be married." And I said "actually, I'm 26" and she continued saying she didn't believe me. I was so offended. My aunt and mom stood up for me and said their ages and asked if they looked that age and she didn't reply and then my aunt and mom told the woman I just have good genes. Then we went five tables over to a cruise vendor and was asked what I am booking a vacation for ... I said "I am booking a honeymoon" and he said "a honeymoon? Do you have a man to marry for this honeymoon or were you just thinking you would book a honeymoon and see what happens?" And I said ... "Yes, I am getting married August 2 and need a honeymoon to follow that wedding.. And then I walked away" .... Idiots.

Please tell me you called their supervisors and complained? I probably wouldn't have been able to hold my temper haha.

Im 35 years old. I got carded once for buying a imvu card at walmart. You need to be over 13 to buy one. I showed the manager my id. I gained 25 pounds in the pass year and a half. I dont have such a little girl figure anymore. You could try gainning some weight. When my back is healed from a sprain i had, im going to lift weights again.

Be glad you look like a teenager and not like an aged woman in her 40s.

I'm and engaged 28 year old college graduate with a professional job and I frequently get mistaken for someone in there early 20's or worse, in their late teens. Last year when someone at work told me I looked like I was 12 (I was 27) I almost cried but this year when someone came begging to the door of MY house for donation money towards anti-fracking measures in my state and asked me "if my parents were home" I was at first too shocked and upset to say anything but my real age but after he left I walked through the neighborhood looking for him, found his supervisor, and got him removed from his volunteer begging job for insensitive comments. Recently someone at work commented I was too young to get married, well I was able to nicely tell her that saying someone looks young is not a compliment. Especially since I knew she had a 26 year old son who was getting married. We now have a nice working relationship. My point is after years of reverse age discrimination and disrespect, I have learned to either nicely correct those that didn't realize they were being derogatory (like the co-worker) and get even with those that were just plain disrespectful and ignorant (like the door-to-door solicitor). The only good thing I have noticed is it seems to be getting better for me as lately I have been mistaken for a 24 year old which after being called 18 for years, I will take it.

Sounds like the volunteer made an innocent mistake. Nice work getting him removed from his job. You sound like a real winner.

When I started reading your post, it was surreal at some level because I had never imagined someone else going through the exact same problem.
I have been facing this since I school. I am 22 now and I keep getting it every single day.
"Which school do you go to?" I work for rural development and am doing my research in the field which requires me to stay in jungles and villages for months. And then they look at you like "what is a kid doing in a jungle? Oh wait, are you lost?" WTH. It is annoying because you're possibly smarter and more sensitive than most highly endowed 'older' looking people your age but you're hidden because you look young. Darn it. But anyhow, keep up the spirit ya'll. I guess we shall find another young looking companion for ourselves and together you shall beat the bejesus out of the 'older' looking people. haha. Power to you.

hi i new to this forum and would like to Sher my story . i am almost 30 and constantly getting told i look 16 17 or 18 if iam lucky .
it has bothered me all my adult life. the old line of ooh you don't you look young its so frustrating . i have found a very good way of dealing with this witch i would like to Sher with you all . what i now do is reply with is . do you no that is the 1st time i have been told that ( with a sarcastic tone . or sometime i would ask there age and reply with o i would have said you was much older.
it may not be the kindest response but it may make them think next time they say such a stupid remark

i m 20 nd i luk lyk i m 12.i hate it wen relatives tat i havnt met for a long tym show up nd says tat i m not chnged at all since they last saw me.i m v sensitive abt this stuff.tats why i dnt lyk going anywhere,i ve v low slf esteem,tats why i avoid meeting people nd come off as stck up to many.i ve a little anxiety bcoz of this thng.i m 5'1" nd people call me cute bt i m trapped in a childlike body i want to luk like a grl not a kid.smtimes i evn cry because of ths.

I am 21 and experiencing the same problem.. earlier i never used to be bothered much, when the waiters would serve alcohol to all my friends but me, whenever i would be mistaken for a school student etc. . It never bothered me. However, I'm doing law and in my country there is a notion that lawyers/judges should be tall and loud..("how else would you look like a person who's able to defend herself?". I'd be fighting a case, not a war, people!!! Only because of the career issue, I wish for the first time in my life that I were taller. Please tell me it's not important to be tall to be a lawyer......

Yea im 26 and went to a football party with my parents, we get there and are offered beverages and then they look at me and mention all the non alcoholic beverages, my mom laughs and says no I know she wants a mimosa and the host looks at her and says well is she old enough and before I could answer the lady said well doesn't matter as long as it's ok with mom and then I said I was 26 I think it's ok, she just looked at me funny. It can be really depressing I don't want to be told I look 18 or 19, I just want to say you have no idea what iv done since being that age, I own two houses, I'm a sergeant in the army, iv been to war, I go to college to be a nurse and iv been a EMT. Its just very degrading but iv always been nice about it, my mom looks like my sister, people laugh when we tell them she's my mom, it probably feels good to her but at my age I don't want to look young I want to look my age.. Very frustrating

I'm 26 and the average age people take me for is around 18 or 19. And I hear it often. It doesn't bother me too much...I think it makes for fun conversation, but I understand completely how it feels to hear something over and over that you cannot stand, though it's usually meant in a kind way. My problem is receiving compliments of any kind. I legitimately cringe when I hear them...In fact, this occurred today.

However, I always say that once I become pregnant I will finally hit puberty. It would be nice to resemble a woman, but this is me, the body in which I am trapped. It's something I'm sort of considering acceptance of, lately.

I can understand how everyone feels,however the other side of the coin is a strong argument. I am in my 50s and get taken for someone in their thirties. This is good. My dad is 93 and looks in his 70s so I guess it is in the genes.

I'm seventeen and a senior and my mom is a teacher. I came into her fourth grade class once. Her student teacher thought I was a fourth grade student. The only hint that I haven't reached puberty are my DDD breasts. So I totally know how you feel. It's frustrating and embarrassing.

Iam a Mom of 1 yr old and i feel really happy sometimes when ppl say that you look so young....and sometimes i feel really upset..

Trust me, I know how you feel. I'm 24 and constantly get told I look 16 or 17 (18 if I'm lucky) and I'm sick of it. It's made me so introvert and I really hate going to job interviews because I know they will comment on it. We shouldn't really be worrying about things like that at our age ffs.

I have experienced similar things being 22 I am often mistaken for a high school student. I usually get asked what grade I'm in and I answer "I graduated college" I don't really get angry over it because I have never cared about what other people think of me, I've always thought it was just kind of funny. I am 5'6" with a round face, medium weight, and look kind of nerdy. But what has happened lately is that when compared to my 18 year old sister is people think she looks older compared to me, so I'm a little concerned about her self image getting affected by how I look.
I'm a bit of a know it all so people usually rely on me when they don't know how to do things so I have always been respected where ever I go. People also tend to ask me questions, which maybe because I wear glasses. I think in the end when you look young you got to earn peoples respect more than if you looked your age (sadly). The biggest thing to do is just don't care about what people think and just do what your own thing.

I'm going to have your exact situation when I am 25. I'm 15 (16 in a month) and I look like I'm twelve. It's extremely annoying. I volunteer in the kids' program at my church, and the eight year old volunteers always try to make friends with me. Not that I mind, it's just that I hate when they ask how old I am and I say "16 next month" and they're completely in shock. A few guys have liked me, but they're the desperate types. A lot of guys tell me I'm pretty, but I guess none really go for me because I look too young. Another thing, I have braces which doesn't really help. I'm almost fully developed with bigger boob than most of my friends and I'm naturally skinny. I'm going to be a junior in high school this fall and I'm tired of resembling a preteen. And I am absolutely sick of hearing "But you're so teeny-tiny, little, small...."

I'm in the same situation. I'm less than five feet tall. People always tell me I'm cute. I wish I didn't look like an 11 year old.

Same situation here! I'm always told that I'm cute (guys and girls). I hang out with, what i perceive to be, the most good looking crowd, because I'm taken to be one of them..but guys never ask me out. Clearly, they take me to be "cute" like a kid

Wow I realise that are lots of people both male and female in the same boat. I am 27 years old male but look like 16 I guess. Only about 5,7 and 140 lbs with a baby face. I get so sick of the same comments enjoy looking young why it lasts..Enjoy what??? not being taken seriously by 99% of people not being able to get girls my age cuz they dont want to date a kid. Not getting younger girls 18-22 because they find out im 27 allmost 28 and that creeps them out..ya so much to enjoy. I try to no let the comments made behind my back bug me but its very difficult and depressing sometimes.

My friends think I am reclusive and that i never wanna go out and do things on fri/ sat nights but really I just hate feeling uncomfortable. I hear bartenders/bouncers or random girls n guys say things like kid must have good fake ID or who brought the 16 year old to the party. I hate feeling depressed because I know I am a nice caring guy that has a lot to offer but I hate feeling like I wish I was never even born because I just cant seem fit in and be happy. I would love to talk more with people that relate to this problem. email me plz if anyone wants to talk bhazelton85@gmail.

you sound hot

Im also in the same boat. Though unlike most of the posts here, im male. I am 28 but i don't shave and generally look under 18. In the past i have been in fights stemming from age related issues.

I find it extremely difficult to maintain any form of respect in my career, and have had to work extremely hard to get a managerial role. I have very little self confidence, and find myself thinking more and more that socialising is not worth the hassle.

I totally agree that "you will appreciate it when you're older" is not the compliment it is meant for, I find it condescending and demeaning.

I agree. Everyone thinks I have an advantage due to looking young but all I ever get is questioning around my creditably and assumptions that I am an inexperienced moron. I have worked incredibly hard to get to where I am, but when I was a manager I coped a lot of hostility due to my physical appearance.

you are not the only one! and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who looks like a tiny little girl.

I'm 23 years old, but people always think I'm 13 or 14. I'm only 4'10, not only that, my face is round and chubby just like a little girl, oh and my voice is small too, like a kid! I hate that when I drive, people always look at me thinking that I'm driving ilegally. and when I go to the bar people think I've got a fake id and they just laugh at me and treating me like a little girl.

It's even worse when I go to a job interview, they always treat me like a little girl too!

I just hate how I don't look normal like other people! I'm kind of worry that I can't have a proper job in the future because of my appearance, what do you think?

This discussion board is helping, I was thinking of making a group for people who look younger than their age, haha

Wow you sound a lot like me, I'm about 4'10/4'11 female and turning 20, same kind of facial features, I hate being this short it makes me feel so unattractive, always last next to my friends. When I ask people some say I look 12 others say I look 16. It feels like people are just plain lying to me all the time. Sometimes I see the good things of being this short, but most days I feel like **** about how I look. I'v also come to hate the words "adorable, and cute" when people describe me, it makes me feel like a child. Its kind of cruel to feel good or happy that theirs others like me with same problem, when I know how much I hate myself for being this.... small.

Hey guys! I have the same issue! I'm 29 and people still think I'm 12 sometimes. I'm married and my husband is 39! So of course, people have to comment about how he looks like my father...I hate hate hate it and am very sensitive about it. I too, look at a picture from when I was 16 and I haven't changed a bit! Going to family reunions or seeing someone you haven't seen in a looong time is awkward...."Why hasn't she aged? She still looks like a kid!" Its very upsetting - most people don't seem to think its a bad thing, they tell me its a good thing, blah blahhh. I too, go through phases where it really gets me down. I don't want to meet my husbands friends, or go to a bar, etc. But there are times when I just forget about it, am confident, and have fun. The number one thing that helps me through is that I have a lot of friends. I have a great personality and I'm a very likable person. And that's all that matters. It doesn't matter how old I am or how old I look. Age is a number. Its a man made thing. People like me and that's all that should matter. Screw the people who make a HUGE deal about it. If they say, "wow you look really young" in an offensive way, I just say "wow, you're really fat," or whatever!!! Its the same disrespect whatever it is. Deal with them, and then move along. Focus on yourself and they people that love you.

I am the same way. I am 29 and people think I am just graduating from high school. I am short too and not really thin though. I would say my body type is perfect for my height. I get so annoyed with it for a long time now. As you said, I tried everything you have done to make look older. I looked up some of my photos when I was 16 and I hadn't changed! I got a lot of comments especially when Im with my husband. They thought I am his daughter. For sure he won't go to jail. I just brush it off for a long time too like you but I am now in the point that I do not appreciate it anymore.

Hi there, I just rolled through because you know... Obviously you have felt the same way, and just pray for the days you go out and do something "adult" and not get a comment about your looks. I am a 23 year old male, I would say I am attractive most definitely... But looking young, is it a blessing? Sometimes it just makes me so anxious I don't even want to leave the house, and I am such a social person with a giant personality that others do enjoy having around. My friends BEG for me to come out, and there are Friday evenings I would rather sit at home than go out to the club or bar just to avoid that tingling I get in my stomach from the comments or being asked. Days will go by and I will sometimes forget, "am I finally starting to age a bit?" And than you get the comment "uhhh how old are you?" Not only getting carded for a lighter, but getting your ID swiped? I understand your pain, and I commend you for being able to go out into the work force and get through college. These are things that, I don't know if sound near pathetic, but I have limited myself from doing because the anxiety I get. Its a shame because no one really understands, and the most embarrassing moments are the ones where bartenders or bouncers make comments in front of the people I am with. They just laugh it off like its no big deal, but it is absolutely devastating. Anyway, I feel your pain. I started working out and put on muscle and it did not really help. I guess the only thing you can really do is just push forward, it IS really hard. Good luck to those who suffer this. It isn't fair, but you have to sit back and really be thankful you don't have any REAL problems. It really is the only thing that gets ME through.

after hearing you guys im scared for the future now. im like 15 but i look 10 and you might think "oh she will grow up and be fine" but now, ive always looks younger im small and thin and i hate it. everyone else has curves and **** and theres me, small and skinny loud girl who looks like they just started secondary school. i got no boobs i got no *** i got nothing to show im my age. MY *** ITS A BLESSING! if that was the case why laugh at the fact that i look young?! they say its good when ur older, WHY SHOULD I ******* WAIT TILL IM 50 TO HEAR PEOPLE BEING NICE!?

i am so glad i found this site! i thought i was the only one that felt this way. I am 25 going on 26 years old and im still mistaken for 16 or 18. Its sooo annoying! I could tell people that see me on a regular basis how old i am and within a weeks time they forget just that quick because i look so young to them, it gets on my nerves! And as it was stated above, No you get no respect when you look so much younger. People also think that its ok to try and run over me because im smalled framed, 115 pounds at 25, and i hate to turn mean and tell them whats on mind, but i just get fed up at times!