It All Starts Here

I recently commented on a story in response to a young man's anguish over a failed relationship and his reflection upon it.
After reading my comment to his story, I realized it was if I was providing a life lesson to myself years younger.

I have always looked in the wrong places for love. I have always looked to others to define me and therefore allowed them to shape who I was to maintain their approval.

Love; it all starts here, inside me. It's been staring at me all this time but I've never been able to conquer the enemy. It's a tough battle to win.

The only love I have come close to has been in my mind where fantasies can exist, while maintaining a safe barrier from those around me. The problem is they are fantasies based on 'perfection', the ultimate impossible relationship.

Someday, I hope to win the battle while other days, I feel safer within the confines of my fantasies where hurt and pain does not exist. To do so though, would deny myself the experience of real love. Below is a copy of my original comment
to the story which provided the impetus to write this one.
Thank you for reading this story.

"Perfection exists only in the mind of the beholder. Perfection 'is' a fantasy. It does not mean love is. Perfection when applied to yourself or others as a standard, will always lead to failure and disappointment not to judge yourself or others too harshly. Maintain an open mind to allow your true self to shine through. In return, others are given the opportunity to know who you truly are, rather than hide within yourself. It's when two people accept the imperfections of each other; totally and without hesitation. When two people lay bare; their hearts and souls and neither walks away, but embraces"
paco35 paco35
56-60, M
7 Responses Feb 12, 2010

This was a very insightful post. You sure made some very good points here. I think that we are better able to make decisions about love when we are older and have had some experience. Being young, I believe we have all judged many things ba<x>sed on our idea of what they should be, and not seen how they truly are because we expected perfection and it never made it far enough to have had a chance because of our impossible expectations..............

Oh, so true!

Such insight and wise words, You've made me think about a few things, a big thank you .

Frito, Fromnowon, thank you for reading this entry and the good wishes in conquering the enemy within. <br />
LV, good point you've made on perfection. I totally agree. <br />
MM, thank you for the compliment. <br />

This is really excellent lesson. nice one :D

I read somewhere that perfectionist is someone who suffers and makes others suffer as well.

Such an honest and genuine post Paco. I believe you will be able to "conquer the enemy" and find genuine love. You deserve it. :)