I Lost a Child
I am not sure where to start. I remember as a child, sitting playing with dolls " playing mom". One day i would become one. Life was always full of dreams, goals, nothing could go wrong....at least to me. That was my mindset. As became older, I had my own life, had a job, my own place, i was in a relationship. Years past by, friends started to talk and ask questions when i would or if i plan on having children, I would smile and shake my head, one day I'm sure that will happen, and i left it at that. In the back of mind i questioned myself. Will I? Can I? I payed no close attention to the thought or idea. Things happen for a reason.
Another yr came to pass, i gave up on the dream or idea of becoming a mother. Then came that day, there was something that felt different with me...I had "that" feeling! I was overcome with emotion, excitement, fear, It was overwhelming. Everything was confirmed, I was ready to share my glorious news. Everyone was happy to hear and I got all the classic congratulations.
4 months later. I knew very little what was going to change, would change my life. It was almost 2:30am. I woke in a sweat, I fell ill, I was in a lot of pain. The cramping felt as though my insides were in a vice grip, pain held me down in place. The fear that took over was too much to handle, a lone i cried, wishing someone would just hold me, I laid there alone holding my unborn child, praying and begging for him to stay with me, telling him to please make it and hold on, don't leave me. I wanted to wake up from that dream, hoping that it was all a dream. I will never forget that day, i will never forget my child. It was the deepest sorrow i have ever experienced. The first time of hope of becoming a mother was lost. I lost my son that night, but I have gained an angel. I have named him Charles.
Things may happen for a reason that one does not know. We take them as a lesson in whichever way we can, no matter the pain of emotions it stirs.
Another yr came to pass, i gave up on the dream or idea of becoming a mother. Then came that day, there was something that felt different with me...I had "that" feeling! I was overcome with emotion, excitement, fear, It was overwhelming. Everything was confirmed, I was ready to share my glorious news. Everyone was happy to hear and I got all the classic congratulations.
4 months later. I knew very little what was going to change, would change my life. It was almost 2:30am. I woke in a sweat, I fell ill, I was in a lot of pain. The cramping felt as though my insides were in a vice grip, pain held me down in place. The fear that took over was too much to handle, a lone i cried, wishing someone would just hold me, I laid there alone holding my unborn child, praying and begging for him to stay with me, telling him to please make it and hold on, don't leave me. I wanted to wake up from that dream, hoping that it was all a dream. I will never forget that day, i will never forget my child. It was the deepest sorrow i have ever experienced. The first time of hope of becoming a mother was lost. I lost my son that night, but I have gained an angel. I have named him Charles.
Things may happen for a reason that one does not know. We take them as a lesson in whichever way we can, no matter the pain of emotions it stirs.
By:
jrbangel84
Age:
26-30
,
Female
