My Baby

My baby died in 2008. He was 22 years old. Even though it has been 4 years it is just as if happened yesterday. I joined an on-line grief group after trying one on one grief counseling and it has helped some but life is still a killing me. I don't know when it will not hurt so much.

Now in addition to being devistated by the death of my son, I also lost my only granddaughter in 2008 because the state took custody of her from her mother. I have an older son but he is unable to have children, so this will be my only grandchild. She was born 4/27/2008, Karley Marie Barlow. She has since been adopted and I am told by DCF caseworker that the monies my son is contributing to her because of her death are being put in a fund for her, I don't know.

Life suck.

I worked for over 20 years and was very independent. Had 2 kids and life seemed to be wonderful until that fateful day when a truck ran into the back of my car. I thought my life would continue on after that but after my back surgery I was worse off then ever. My youngest son died in 2008 of a heart attack and my oldest still doesn't seem to have his life on track.

I receive money from SSD but it just barely pays for me to continue to have a roof over my head. I have applied for assistance but I am told I don't qualify so I have to decide whether to buy food or other things.

When I was robbed at a store a few months ago it made me even more afraid of life. What is going on? I now when I die I will be alone but I didn't expect it so early.

Can some one help? I don't eat for days on end because I don't have the money. I live from paycheck to paycheck, which is month to month, just so I can have a roof over my head. I am so afraid to go out of my house after the robbery that I have a hard time going to the store or any where.

Please help. I don't know whether life can get worse but it sure seems to be laughing at me.

homebased44 homebased44
2 Responses Dec 2, 2012

If you need someone to talk to message me. My son died a couple years ago at the age of 25 so I know what you're going through. I think we could help each other.

Dear one,
I too grieve for my precious daughter who was killed when she was hit by a car when she was 14 years old. She was my best friend. I have a wonderful husband, but I am still alone most of the time as he has to work so much. We who are lonely must find each other and talk, and learn to laugh again at the little happy things of life.