My Sweet Little Angel...
You came in the world with such violence and pain. I am so sorry little one, charged with you're protection for this I have failed. He beat me again today, I covered you with my arms the best I could. I am sorry little one I should not have ran away. Today I tried to leave, but he found me so angry I should have stayed. I thought they would help us not tell him we were here. It's the day after Christmas you came too early. 1 pound 3 ounces 15 inches long, blue eyes fuzzy purple skin. You are beautiful I watch you struggle to breath in a tiny plastic crib, tubes and wires running everywhere. It is Dec. 27 the now you've made through the night, but Doctors say its only a matter of time. You're lungs are too tiny, you're heart too week, you're kidneys are failing they say you wont make the week. I place my hand through the round hole on the side if you're crib, you hold to my finger with you're tiny little hand. I whisper God I love you, my baby girl. It is Dec. 28 4:00 in the morning the nurse says its time, I finally get to hold you now, you don't have much time. She removes most of the wires, and tubes hands you too me. I hold you gently in my hands you're body so small and fragile, I kiss you're forehead, and start rocking you, singing softly too you. Tears streaming, as I helplessly watch you fade away. Its 4:23 am you stopped breathing. My heart is broken I loved before you came in this world, I loved you the short time you were, and I will love long after, till I draw my last breath, and hold you again in my arms,until that time my heart will never be whole again. Mommy misses you my Angel baby girl...
deleted deleted
35 Responses May 14, 2015

I am sorry for your pain of loss

i cried...
i never cry...

that was uncalled for

my troll... ignore it.. we all have pimples on our *** at some point :)

wow, i feel so sorry for you, i lost my youngest son on fathers day 3 years ago and lost my little 3 # pom today and my heart is broken, babys are so precious and so are our furry little friends, ill keep you in my thoughts

you are so sweet

I am sorry for your pain.

that was truly beautifully written. I'm sorry to have read of your loss but know at Heaven's Gate she will stand waiting to see her beautiful caring mother again. thank you for sharing with us

That is so well written, but I can still only imagine your pain. My wife and I had a miscarriage early in a pregnancy and I know how that impacted us -- this had to be so much harder. I hope you find peace.

Thank you. We were able to have another child after that and cannot imagine our life without him -- so we had some natural therapy. To have such a blessing in your hands then snatched away, just cannot imagine...

Oh my one should ever have to go through that. I'm crying my eyes out for you and your loss, but also realizing how blessed you were to hold her and have her for the few precious days you did. I'm sure she's with you're her Momma and she's not far from your side.

I just teared up

OMG......that is so heart breaking and so touching at the same thing for know as a chrisitan; you will see her again...and the best part is...she will know who YOU are.

my little beth lived 3 days, i will join her soon, in heaven

what do you mean soon you will join your little Beth in heaven? Are you sick or suicidal? Please reply ok. God bless. hug hug

your story caught me off guard. I'm touched by your description and the emotions you've felt. Thank you for sharing.

I'm so sorry for you loss it's always painful

Sorry for your loss.

What a nightmare! I am so sorry you had to go through this. I hope you are free of the man in question, and that he has been arrested.

It brought tears to my eyes. I m sure baby angel is at a much better place far from sufferings in the safe palm of God's hands!

I'm so so sorry honey. Please don't blame yourself. if you still blame yourself, i suggest that you see a therapist ok. Please message me. God bless. Hug hug

Oh god I am balling rite sad. So well written....thanks for sharing.

Sorry for your loss. I lost my angel at full term nearly 2 years ago. My heart will always have a hole. I know your pain. It will get better! With time!

depends on the person I guess. I used to think time heals all wounds, but am not sure that is truly the case. I too, held the lifeless little body in my arms and cried.

lovadas heart was not strong enough, but YOURS was, and always will be!

HUGS!!! TY for baring your soul!

It is tragic. I have buried two. I understand completely and feel your sorrow.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I know the pain you are feeling... I lost my son. I was only able to hold him after he passed...

No mother should have to go through something like this.


Wow. I feel this. I have a tear for you and her

I'm so sorry my mom lost 3 my ex girlfriend and I lost one it hurts to the core she is with God

Heartbreaking to read. I'm sure she watches down on you, sweet angel that she is


You're a lady of exceptional courage and grace. I lost a brother, but can't imagine any pain this profound.

That's love...

Omg this made me cry.

I'm so sorry


my little beth lived 3 days then went back to heaven

yes, little angels playing together


It pains me to read this. I am so sorry for your loss.

really ????

Isn't it strange the amount of effort it takes to create a life, the time it takes and the resources given. But one little thing goes wrong and it comes tumbling down in seconds. Sounds like an intentional design flaw. Oh well, the best we can do at the removal of life is accept it and move on. Then try again. It's not wrong to cry. But it's wrong if you let it overwhelm you like that. The best we can do is smile and accept.

Spoken like someone who doesn't understand the profound gravity of living and dying....

Stand up guy!!!! kudos

That was a little mean, Darktooth.. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the loss of her baby overwhelming her. It shows her humanity. "An intentional design flaw" and passively stating "oh well...accept it and move on" are very cold statements to make. She will move on, but she needs time to recover and heal emotionally. Emotional wounds take much longer to heal than physical wounds. You have never experienced loss, have you?

Wow, clearly you have never loved and lost. Nobody knows the heart of a Mother who has lost a child. Your lack of compassion. "Oh we, the best we can do at the removal of life is accept it and move on. It's wrong to let it overwhelm you like that. You are young and so life has not dealt you this blow. This Lady needs our compassion and understanding and support and there are many on ep who are prepared to give it.

1 More Response

oh sori my dia

I'm amazed at the strength it took to write this experience. Easily one of the most difficult I've read on EP. Your courage to share this experience, to show such a deep and painful glimpse of who you are.....demonstrates a strength so few possess.

I'm one of those "foot steps are ordered" kind of I don't exactly believe in fate. I most definitely believe there are right moments, right people, right places, and right times. This is your time.....glad to be a part!!!!!!!