My Best Friend Took My Ex-boyfriends Side In The Split!

I dated a man last year that I met through my best friend from high school. She was always telling me how sexy he was in his uniform, ect. This man was 56, divorced for less than a year. I am a single mother with a 13 year old. We dated for 2 months before he went back to his ex wife. Throughout the 2 months- I was uncomfortable with many things in the relationship. The way his attitude was with my daughter, the intimacy, he was controlling of my time and attention, -- we were not compatable. When he went back to his wife at first I was in shock as this person came on very strong - and was talking love and marriage. But- very relieved at the same time- especially after the shock wore off. This is where my best friend comes in- she lives in the same town as my ex- boyfriend. She would drive by his house and call me to tell me if he was home or not. She called me everyday- so we could talk about "Rob"- and how we couldn't BELIEVE how he went back to his ex- wife- and how we couldn't BELIEVE how he had lied and acted throughout the affair. Well he broke up with the ex- wife and wanted me back- sent e-mails , roses, phone calls. I refused to accept them. He drives to my town which is across the state- stays in a hotel for days until he "accidentally" bumps into me at the local store to ask me back in person- I spent time with him that afternoon and explained that I could not return and give it another try- he said he would leave me alone - no more trying to contact me- he wished he could change my mind but he would not try to contact me ever again. That was a lie- there were more phone calls( and the calls were antagonistic) and more e-mails. I got the e-mails blocked- and changed my phone number. Then he started to come to my town( pop. 2,500) and would stay at the hotel for a week at a time.(Which he never did before we dated) Then he would drive past the place I work in the mornings with his truck and boat  "to get gas"- when gas was easier  to get and cheaper downtown.  My daughter and I also had to hide from a truck that looked just like Rob's one night he was in town because we were at a ranch (which he knew about) feeding the horses. The truck drove past the ranch at about 5 miles an hour and then turned off. My car was hidden and me and my daughter hide when the truck drove past. The truck was the same as Rob's- same make&model. Same markings- I know it was him. He also drove to my parents house on Thanksgiving Day and drove up and down the street- looking at who was at my parents for Thanksgiving. My parents home is even farther away from his house - 4-5 hours across the state!    It made me very uncomfortable. SOOO- I contacted the sheriff. He told me what I could do (restraining order). I did not get the restraining order. I told my best friend- she told Rob. Then my best friend and Rob determined that I was accusing Rob of "stalking" . So now I am no longer invited to my best friends house unless she gets ahold of Rob first and tells him to leave town. I told her that I don't want Rob to do ANYTHING on my account. My best friend told me that she had to tell Rob to leave town because if I saw his truck in town I would say that he was stalking me. I have not been invited to her house this summer. First time in 10 years!  I have stopped talking to her so much on the phone too! Any suggestions?

amanda45 amanda45
46-50, F
2 Responses Aug 6, 2010

Thank you for the feedback- I guess that I am more hurt over my best friends reaction to this more than anything- and surprised by the fact that her actions are showing me that she clearly has taken Rob's side in this. My best friend's boyfriend also doeswn't like Rob and doesn't want him coming around to visit and take my best friend to lunch and spend time with her. He told my best friend that he was her boyfriend not Rob. I asked her what she thought on that subject and she is very defensive about spending time with Rob- this is even after she was soooooo mad at him for how he had treated me! Now- she is back to spending time with him and going to lunch with him, and tells me that Rob stops at her work to show her the big fish he has caught! I guess if she broke up with someone- I wouldn't go to lunch with that person and then tell her about it!

If she really cared about you then wouldn't she have contacted you already. If she really cared then wouldn't she have understood that rob was deffinetly a STALKER, he could have even been a murder who when he didn't get his way he'd kill everyone you knew including you. If she really cared about you she'd know the type of person you'd like and would never have set you up with such a crazy person. A best friend is someone who knows you better than you know yourself. I say you move on and I'm sure you can find a new best friend theres millions of other people in this world. Well I wish you the best of luck on what ever decision you make!