I Lost My Father To Suicide

Hello my name is Ashley, when I was 14 three weeks before my 15th birthday my father committed suicide. It was around 11 o'clock at night when my father took his own life in our back yard in a tool shed he had been building for months prior to his suicide. I remember that day like it was yesterday its so hard to forget. I was awaken by a detective around 2 am and when he told me the bad news i felt like my whole world came to and end I didn't want to believe it, you see my father was one of those "no matter what we are not quitters never give up" kinda person he was a real go getter and he always taught us to stay strong so when i was told that he had hung himself it just didn't seem true. You see there was a lot of factors to why my father committed suicide family problems a new business failing he was on the verge of a divorce with my step mother and him and my grandmother and grandfather and his own brother were not on speaking terms. I guess he felt alone and had no one to turn to but for a long time most of his co-workers that knew he was dealing with all of this asked him to go talk to someone but he refused. After that i felt alone scared i felt like i had lost the one man in my life that had never hurt me the one man i could trust and love with all my heart and no matter what i knew he would always be there. They say never take someone for granted you never know how long you have to love that person or how much you will miss them when they are gone. Its been 10 years since I lost my best friend my hero and not a day goes by that I don't think of him, miss him and struggle with his passing. I have two children now and every day i talk to my children about there grandfather and how great a man he was and how he is with god in heaven watching over us everyday. I to dealt with serious depression for a long time after my father passed away and I to even thought of doing the same thing once, but I went and talked to someone and got help. Suicide is a serious thing i see people every day who make light of this situation however they don't truly know it is to loose someone in this type of way.

ashleymg0927 ashleymg0927
22-25, F
Jan 17, 2013