I Lost a Loved One to Suicide
We met when we started working at the same company at the same time. we hit off great, and we became the terible twosome at work, we where unseperable.
He was married with 2 beutiful children, but in a broken down marriage, and i was in a new realtionship with someone i met that same year
Our feelings grew strong for each other over time and he pulled away and left the comapny as he was also unhappy in the job.
we tried to stay in touch but that broke down, our feelings where getting in the way of our home lives.
a year later, he got back in touch confirming his marriage was irriconcileable, and he couldnt take the mental tourcher of the way he felt in the marriage... i know there always 2 sides to every story, but some of the things he had to endure would have drove anyone crazy. By this time me and my partner had reached our end in our relationship too.
But even earlier than all this he lost someone very special to him that he never got to terms with.
He had a dark and troubled passed, combind with the above he felt so low that he blamed him self and couldnt forgive himself, for what he deemed to be his fault.
Anyway when we got back in touch we helped each other through alot.
But things seemed to be be on the upside... He agreed to let me lelp him through his torment, and we where to see where our feelings would lead, but then things took a turn for the worse, and the meddication and counciling he was getting stopped working, he was taken into suppervision again.
Some days he seemed ok, but he always was great at hiding his feelings and emotions, but i knew when things wherent quite right, even if he did hide it well. the last time i saw him, he was really low but perked up towards the end of my visit... but that last hug was longer than normal, i was causious of what it meant but tried to put it to the back of my mind. then i spoke to him the next day via text. he aknolwledged it was a bad day. but he still talked to me right up until 11.05pm. i also later learned his family had been upto see him that day too, and he was on very high spirits laughing and joking on.
Unfortunately the next day he took his own life.
I feel like i should of picked up what was happening sooner. looked for signs.
i feel so lost and alone and filled with pure raw emotion... he was the centre of my world. he was my future, he was part of me and who i am.
i know he was in mental toture and i know he would hate for me to blame myself in anyway, but i cant help it. He was always saying about the pain in his head b ofut he only told me part how this effected him and why it was there.
The only reassurance i have now, is that the pain is gone, he is no longer in torment and he is now at peace
I love him so much my world has fell apart without him. i hope where ever he is he will help guide me and help me rebuild my world.
i will never forget him as long as i live, he will always be part of my mind, body and soul.
If anyone out there has or is in the same or similar possition please comment or reply, i dont know how to move forward form this.
He was married with 2 beutiful children, but in a broken down marriage, and i was in a new realtionship with someone i met that same year
Our feelings grew strong for each other over time and he pulled away and left the comapny as he was also unhappy in the job.
we tried to stay in touch but that broke down, our feelings where getting in the way of our home lives.
a year later, he got back in touch confirming his marriage was irriconcileable, and he couldnt take the mental tourcher of the way he felt in the marriage... i know there always 2 sides to every story, but some of the things he had to endure would have drove anyone crazy. By this time me and my partner had reached our end in our relationship too.
But even earlier than all this he lost someone very special to him that he never got to terms with.
He had a dark and troubled passed, combind with the above he felt so low that he blamed him self and couldnt forgive himself, for what he deemed to be his fault.
Anyway when we got back in touch we helped each other through alot.
But things seemed to be be on the upside... He agreed to let me lelp him through his torment, and we where to see where our feelings would lead, but then things took a turn for the worse, and the meddication and counciling he was getting stopped working, he was taken into suppervision again.
Some days he seemed ok, but he always was great at hiding his feelings and emotions, but i knew when things wherent quite right, even if he did hide it well. the last time i saw him, he was really low but perked up towards the end of my visit... but that last hug was longer than normal, i was causious of what it meant but tried to put it to the back of my mind. then i spoke to him the next day via text. he aknolwledged it was a bad day. but he still talked to me right up until 11.05pm. i also later learned his family had been upto see him that day too, and he was on very high spirits laughing and joking on.
Unfortunately the next day he took his own life.
I feel like i should of picked up what was happening sooner. looked for signs.
i feel so lost and alone and filled with pure raw emotion... he was the centre of my world. he was my future, he was part of me and who i am.
i know he was in mental toture and i know he would hate for me to blame myself in anyway, but i cant help it. He was always saying about the pain in his head b ofut he only told me part how this effected him and why it was there.
The only reassurance i have now, is that the pain is gone, he is no longer in torment and he is now at peace
I love him so much my world has fell apart without him. i hope where ever he is he will help guide me and help me rebuild my world.
i will never forget him as long as i live, he will always be part of my mind, body and soul.
If anyone out there has or is in the same or similar possition please comment or reply, i dont know how to move forward form this.
By:
tinkerbell222013
Age:
26-30
