My Closest Cousin

On March 15,2009 my life was changed forever. At around 5:30 I received a frantic but confused call from my uncle. Just as he was asking me if i had heard from any other family members that day my cousin cindy was on the other line. I clicked over to hear her tears. My cousin and her brother was no longer with us. As I listened to what she heard I became increasingly more heartbroken. August wasn't just my cousin, he was my best friend. We're approaching his 8 month death anniv and every month on the 15th I go to the train tracks where he took his life. What makes it hard on me is that I never had the closure of seeing him at rest. I have a copy of the medical examination that shows cause of death is gunshot wound under his chin, his casket was closed. I miss my cousin everyday and the months since his death I question myself and ask myself what if everyday. I don't think I'll ever have any answers or any reasoning but the pain is fresh everyday

MissMyCousin MissMyCousin 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2009

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I lost my closest cousin and best friend too.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

Read My story of loss...Maybe it is your answer also to your loss.

Leave me a comment thank you..

finally solved. decades later.


I've read your story, and I was amazed with your strength and bravery! I send to you support, and hugs. The same thing happened to my uncle (my father's brother), only he survived the gunshot. He was put on anti-depressants and his behavior became erratic. He went from a gifted musician, artist, and math genius, to a loner and paranoid individual. The doctors and psychiatrists blamed his depression, and not the huge amount of SSRI's they put him on. He could of died that year, but with a miracle, survived. My grandmother working in the medical field at the time, managed to have him tapered from some of the drugs, and he became a different person ...more social, engaging and friendly. I look at the industry of SSRI's as a money making business ... they are expensive drugs, and I believe that at times doctors would rather get paid writing these scripts than to actually LISTEN to their patients ... A sad reality.

I send you prayers, and peace in your tragedy ...XXX hugs.