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When Does It Get Better?

I always grew up closely with two of my aunts, this one involves the older one, India. She has always been like an older twin to me, we even look super similar. She is twenty seven now and had the two cutest little boys ever, Alex and Bradley. When I was a teenager I would always go and stay with them for the summer. I was there a few weeks after Bradley was born and then was there when India was pregnant with little Alex. Through the years though I did choose a favorite, Brad. His personality was so sweet he loved everyone and was so gentle with animals. I grew really close to him, even though I only got to see him for a few months a year. A few months ago my aunt was driving with the boys from Montana down to colorado for a family emergency. That is until, they became the family emergency. My aunt fell asleep at the wheel and upon waking up over corrected herself, causing the car to roll. Both my little cousins were in the back seat asleep. Neither of them in a car seat or buckled in. All three of them were thrown from the vehicle. My aunt and Alex were both in intensive care and are still recovering a few months later but Bradley...did not make it. I've had a lot of deaths occur in my life but none of them really bothered me, just this one. He was closer to me than a little cousin, I almost saw him as a little brother. He would have just started kindergarten... I miss him so much. At the funeral the family was allowed to see him before they closed the casket for the service and all I could do was just stare at him. Even after everyone else was done, I was still watching him, waiting for him to start breathing. Needless to say he didn't and I was made to leave with everyone else. I just want to know... Does it ever get better?
Hypnotixtic Hypnotixtic 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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Patience.
Deep breaths when you need to grip your way up.
I have lost two very important people.
I does get less, though when they enter your thoughts it is very emotional.
Yes it will get easier, as time goes on but the memories remain strong.
Concentrate on those times you were smiling not the one when you were crying.
I am so sorry this happened.

The sequence of events on the day my grandmother died still plays very vividly to this day, and this December will mark 8 years since she died. I think we do grow accustomed to it but don't think we'll be 100% the same again.

I know the pain so bad from losing my grandmother that I'd be willing to share a hug with you in order to convey that I understand your pain. I believe there's a reason we're still ticking (figuring it out is an ongoing quest, though)