Lost My Father

I lived in England, but was born in Boston, Mass, when I was 2 1/2 years old my father committed suicide by taking an overdose.
My mother only found out then that he had tried to take his life years before but has been found and hospitalized. Being so young my mum (who never sought any help) would tell me my dad was on vacation when I constantly asked where he was and when is he coming back. I always hoped he would be back, anyway when I was 5 my mum brought me to live in UK I did then understand that actually he was dead, but my mum would tell me he died of heart attack. On my 16th Birthday she told me the truth that he had committed suicide,I did find out the all my family had known but tried to keep from me until I was old enough to be told. However, it was quite a bombshell for me, and being so many years after the event never got any counselling or anything....mostly I just get on with my life but every now and again feel so sad at the missing years without him and pretty lonely.

41-45, F
May 13, 2012