I was pregnant.

The other day I was standing and a blob of clotted blood came out of me. I was late with my period. Had a spot of blood but that's it.
Then two weeks later this blob drops out of me and I was bleeding clotted blood and pieces for days. I bled a lot and had bad cramps and felt bloated, my skin was bad and I felt so bad within myself.
I know I am no longer pregnant, just as I knew I was and I took the test too. My boobs were getting bigger and I was just not myself. Was very emotional, different. I should take the test now again but I know it will be negative..
Now I start to be myself again..although right now I am sad..
It is from him..the one I love. The one who is 15 years older and I know we don't have a future together. His ex wife is in a state from him..I don't know why she had to have so many children with him.

I am still getting to know him...not having this baby means I can have a new start...without him.

I will miss him though..maybe not a good partner as a man..but he is a good man...

And I am hurting now...he does not know about this lost pregnancy...I just don't think he wants to hear about these things. I am finding these weeks very hard. The run up to this...I wonder if I wasn't so stressed if this would have happened...but I was so stressed....so very stressed...I did not eat, sleep and I was very very stressed....
I did not know...I wish I knew...I would have been careful not to stress...I would not have drunk coffee...I am sad...one can't help but feel what if I was more careful...would I still be pregnant?..
Agapoula Agapoula
36-40, F
2 Responses Aug 20, 2014

For sure. Don't blame yourself. Thank God for this trial bc we can trust him bc he is faithful and I'm very sorry for your loss :-/ peace and love to you.

Don't blame yourself. Many women who have been pregnant under the most ideal circumstances have miscarried and many women under much worse circumstances have delivered children.

Being sad is normal, it's a huge loss and I am so sorry for your loss. But don't blame yourself, you did not cause the miscarriage - sometimes sad things just happen.

Thanks NoPretenses..I know you are right...it sucks...