My Life Has Been Taken Away

My exhusband took me to court for primary custody of my two oldest boys. His parents have paid all his lawyer fees and confessed on stand that they pay all his bills along with the child support. I tried to get our case away from the corrupt town that they live in but I still ended up with a Judge from that county. My parneting was never in question and actually praised by everyone. But by the opposing side my boys were old enough to do things with their dad and they needed to be taught how to be men. He has been married three times and has another so by his second exwife. He signed his parental rights over to that son and on stand did not know the age of that son nor does he attend any sport functions or call that son. My husband and I have been married seven years and together nine years, my boys were four and 1 1/2 when we started to date. After time my boys became his, he bought food, clothes, medicine, school supplies and any other needs they had. When they became sick or just didn't feel good, my husband held them and rocked them to give them comfort. My exhusband never did any of that and still doesn't! All I get now are phone calls. I gave my life to my children, for 13 and 10 years I made doctors appointments and school schedules and now I get every other weekend and daily phone calls when they answer the phone. I am broken and lost my life has been ripped apart. How did I loose my boys? What did I do wrong? I don't understand what happend!!! I am tired of hearing people telling me everything will be alright. When will it be alright!? Judges should not get the right to decide the future of children based on what the children say, children can and are manipulated all the time.
mhhuff mhhuff
3 Responses Sep 24, 2012

OMG I totally agree with you!!! My kids father is a corrections officer and the female judge here in AL gave him Cavour based on false allegations and "things" my kids said (my son is 12 & my girls are -0 & 8)! I feel your pain! He was just given custody and I haven't seen hem since May 20th! Some days I feel like I can't even breathe without my children and think how cold hearted that ***** of a judge is! I've had full legal custody of my kids since 2008 since he their father signed over custody now all of a sudden because I'm down to 3 classes in grad school he figures let me take them from her and get her to pay me child support!!! I'm truly disgusted and disappointed at our legal system in this country!!! There are mothers with severe mental illness and drug abuse issues who truly neglect their children and here I am none of these things and my kids were taken from me in a few easy steps!! God doesn't like ugly and I know both he and that damn judge are gonna get what they deserve !!!!!

What state are you in? I'm surpprised the kids were talked to and at their young ages, normally unless they say "my mommy beats me & ties me up in the closet" there is very little they COULD say that would effect custody. What made him suddenly file for custody? What is he saying you did (or didn't) do? Do you have an attorney? Depending on the circumstances, you can go back to court & get them. I fought for 3 years solid until I got 1/2 custody and he has continued to take me back to court for the past 4-5 yrs trying to get 100% phys/legal custody. He is denied repetedly. I would have to do something really awful for the court to go backwards & take away what I already have. I guess I'm just asking you for more details. Courts suck but there had to be some reason kids were removed. It isn't just arbitrary (or shouldnt be)

Actually, there doesn't have to be a reason. During my court hearings suddenly my car that never had problems, died. My husband had cut off all funds and I was a stay at home mom. He had me quit my part time from home job. So I had no way to attend the hearings, even though he did accuse me of things, and had a lawyer and I didn't and couldn't get one, since I had no money and they said they don't assign them. Because of this he got a default judgment and won 100% custody and won't allow me to speak with her. There was never any incident and I wasn't declared unfit. So yet, it is more arbitrary in many cases, unfortunately.

I totally agree this too happened to me I didn't attend the hearing because truly without an attorney I felt I was going to lose control and curse everybody out in that court room so he got judgement in his favor by default!!!

He coaxed the kids to writing letters stating I "beat" them! Have I spanked them! I sure have! I'm a nurse I know the difference between spanking and beating. In AL teachers are allowed to paddle a child--so I their biological mother can't spank them lol I sure as hell can!! He manipulated the kids and probably bribed them with materialistic goods something that I don't do with my kids because I teach them material things don't go in the casket with us when we die! On the other hand he's all about name brand clothes and the latest gadgets!! Kids nowadays are raised in a world and society that sadly focuses on financial gain and material wealth-so kids are not growing up with the values we grew up per we but instead with distorted and shallow ones! I'm currently unemployed so that too went against me and the fact that I couldn't afford a family law attorney didn't help the case at all!! At the end of the day-law sides with law and I truly believe she sided with him because he's a corrections officer! Had I been a cop or an attorney she wouldn't have ruled in his favor. This was a pendente lite hearing the final one is set for around the Holidays and I pray to have a job and $$ by then so I can have a good attorney representing me!!

I'm in the same boat as you, just don't give up, I'm not going to sit here and say its going to be alright bc we as mothers know better, I know my kids are not happy living apart from me, they live 2 hours away from me :( but I call 2 times a day and send videos daily. You need to take time to cry and yell or scream but once that's done you need to get up and fight back, stay strong!