Life Of A Perfect Wife

I wrote a dream and it related to this subject, but its still bothering me. She was my best friend 13 years or something like that, her family lived with me for a while, my mother bought her a car, we had all our 'first experiences' and talked about them together. We had so many memories, ALL my photo albums are pictures of just me and her....

She changed

All of a sudden, shes getting married! and lets me know (im supposed to be the bride of honor, we promised each other that forever ago) and she tells me 2 days before it, shes in another town, im have a management job that require at LEAST a 2 week notice in order to leave. I thought she didn't want me there, thats why she told me so late, but turns out she was really hurt by me not being there and i think its had a huge impact on the current situation. I hadn't even met the guy until after they were married. Should I have quit my job for her? would she still be my friend now if i had? But, thats only the beginning...

her and her husband let me move in with them. It was great until I got a boyfriend, who became BEST FRIENDS with her husband, and he was getting ridiculously clingy and annoying for me so i broke it off with him. Both her and her husband kicked me out because of it. I was hurt really bad, i mean i thought they'd be on my side? but no, the guy meant more to her husband and HIS opinion is what matters, she cant make a thought of her own if a man is there to give her one. I cant figure it out, am i really that bad of a person? is she really that manipulatable? did i do something else to her personally that she took offense to, like the not being at her wedding cuz of late notice? Has the only been my friend all our lives because my mother had the money to buy her things? It didn't seem like it... but i cant explain this sudden hatred towards me. Was it that i always wanted to go out? Was i too much of a club-animal they thought was headed the wrong direction and instead of giving advice, shoved me away?

Then when they kicked me out i demanded my security deposit back because i could not afford a place to live without it... apparently it was the husbands birthday money and they both flipped out on me. But they were the ones that kicked me out! They knew i needed the deposit back we discussed it before even moving IN together! I understand that really pissed him off. After that we didnt speak for months.

Then we started talking again, it all seemed fine. I baked her a cake, we texted again. Then she got pregnant, i brought her the tests. It was beautiful, I was excited. They both told me I would be the godmother, i was so honored! From what i saw it looked like they gave her my middle name -- but i stopped by her work one day and apologized for being a bad friend, i had been losing contact and being too busy to see how she was doing. She responded by telling me i invaded her space and intruded on her life, she asked me to let go of the 'best friends' thing because she cannot "and WILL not" comply with the demands of a best friend. I never demanded anything from her! I cried all day because my pregnant friend was going through a hard time and I wanted to be there for her and she wrote me a memo breaking it off. it wasn't a letter, it was a MEMO from my ex-best friend letting me know i wasnt her friend anymore. I told her fine, ill never bother her again and have not spoken to her.

Her baby girl was born 5 days before i predicted her birth, and i guessed it was a girl. My alarm went off last night reminding me of our predictions.... i sent her a quick note after not speaking to her for months 'Congratulations you two! I hope her smile brings you much joy, laughter, and love!" ..... shes not on my 'friends' page, but i can see she has signed on, and has not read my message. Her life is just too perfect without me. I bet she even changed the middle name. I wouldnt be surprised if i ever saw her shed turn around and walk the other way.

How is it, once a woman is married and having babies, she doesnt want a friend? I didnt want to demand anything from her, i couldnt spend time with her or have long chats on the phone, im busy and so is she. There was no demand, just knowing that if anything had happened each of us would be there for the other no matter what.... I wanted to be there so if she got tired i could babysit, so that if she needed help with laundry or something i could help! but screw me apparently....she would let me die even if she had the ability to stop it. I honestly dont think she would even cry if i did die... sometimes it hurts me so bad that people repeatedly treat me like this, i understand it from boyfriends they come and go... but best friends? how could someone i treated like a sister, my mother treated like her own daughter just.... hate me?

The life of a typical, perfect wife. She has no influence, she has no reminder of her strengths and weaknesses. I honestly wonder if her husband beats her, if he mentally abuses her. I feel like it was his fear of her knowing she was strong on her own when i was around that he manipulated her thoughts to make it seem like im the bad guy....

but that can't be the case. it just cant. I did SOMETHING...something was just too bad of me, im a horrible person, im not the kind of person she wants to be around anymore... yeah i drink, but didnt i stop her from doing hard drugs in high school? Did i ever pressure her to drink when she didn't want to? Did she think i would make her drink or smoke while she was pregnant? How could me breaking up with a guy, like i have tons of times before, be worth kicking out for? What did i do... why is it hard for me to let go of a 13 year friendship but seems like she couldnt wait for it to happen? Is she a total ***** who now has her dream life, husband, dogs, baby, and just doesnt care about anything but them anymore? I understand, she got busy... but that didnt mean she had to tell me to leave her alone... what did i do... why will we never be friends again.... why cant i even see her babys face.... why cant i listen to her ***** about her life and learn from it and give advice? Why did she want me gone forever....
mauimichele mauimichele
22-25, F
Jul 14, 2010