Painful Loss

Ok, I'm going to share even though this is very painful for me.  I considered her my best friend for 17 years.  We were best friends in high school and even when I went to college.  Work and things got in the way and we didn't talk to each other every day, but I still considered her my best friend. 

Then all of a sudden it seemed like I was always the one contacting her when we were out of touch.  Several years ago when I reached out to her, I was engaged and I thought she was too, it turns out that her fiance cheated on her and broke her heart.

I listenened to her and was there for her.  I convinced her to go out with my fiance's friend.  They hit it off.  Me and my fiance decided (by me mostly) not to get married.  We live together and have a child together. 

She decided to marry my fiance's best friend.  During the time of their engagement, I noticed a change in her.  She would have parties and not invite me.  She began hanging around with some of their other friends wives.  I couldn't stand them, they were like the stepford wives. 

My mother died and I had other tragedies happen to me.  She went to the wake but offered little support.  Strangers and people I barely knew offered me more support. 

Then her husband asked my boyfriend to be part of the wedding.  I wasn't included in the wedding party and another one of the wives were.  This hurt me to the core.  I did not want to attend the wedding.  Because my boyfriend was in the wedding he asked me to go.

I attended the wedding shower and got her an expensive  gift.  She snubbed me at the shower and so did her other friends.  She took pictures with everyone except me.

I did not want to attend the wedding, I was so hurt.  My boyfriend pleaded with me and I agreed.  She  sat me at the loser table where I knew noone and noone talked to me.  I didn't eat all night and drank vodka.  I went outside and talked to some male guest at the wedding.  Her husband came out and yelled at me, threatend me and told me to get back inside.  He did not want me talking to another male because my boyfriend was inside.  I was mortified and humiliated. 

We left and my boyfriend apologized for making me attend.  He trusts me and knows I wasn't doing anything out of line at the wedding.  Before we left the groom (her husband) apologized to me also. 

He called my boyfriend a few times after that but never mentioned the incident. 

I never received a thank you for the wedding gift and she has never called me.

I feel hurt and crushed.  How can someone change so much? 

Tumblindice Tumblindice
36-40, F
3 Responses Jul 16, 2007

Ok.........Update......"exfriend" found me on facebook and sent me a friend request, I accepted it. I wanted to know what she wanted. I did not write her, because I honestly don't know what to do or say. She has not written me or commented or even said "hi" to me on fb. any advice on how to handle this or if I should write her will be appreciated, thanks

well darlin, i too lost a friend after 35 years!! she changed also, i considered her to be mentally abusive now that i look back on it.<br />
<br />
like you said on my story on my "ex"....<br />
tears $costly<br />
to be rid of an abusive friend...priceless :)))

I'm so sorry to hear about your best friend changing for the worst over the years; it's a painful thing to go through, but it will get better in time and one day you'll find a good friend who will be there for you & not snub you or take you for granted. Seems that you considered the friendship more important than she did but in the meantime, treat yourself to things you enjoy doing each day, take long walks, anything you can think of to get through this..Let me know how you're doing and message me if you need to talk :)