What Should I Do?

We were friends for about 17 years.  best friends for many of those years. i don't know when we both started to change. Even through change I accepted her friendship and valued it.  One day though, I noticed that I was doing all of the contacting, inviting, etc.  Still I kept doing this. I really valued her in my life. One time after being separated (not really keeping in contact for over a year) I called her.  The last I knew she was engaged.  It turned out that her fiance broke up with her for someone he met online.  I was devastated for her.  At this time I was engaged (i decided not to get married but he and I live together and are involved in each others lives). 

Anyway, because she was single I fixed her up with my boyfriend's friend who was also single.  They hit it off right away and became a couple.  I was so happy for her!  shortly after they moved in together.  Now my boyfriend and his friend were pretty close.  They also had a circle of other friends and their wives. The wives were two faced and stuck up.  I did not hang around with them because it is impossible for me to pretend I like someone when I don't. She became friends with them. Then slowly she stopped bothering with me.  I had some major life changing events, including the death of my mother.  she came to the wake but she was not there for me.

Then she got engaged.  She called me up to let me know.  I was truly happy for her. Her fiance asked my boyfriend to be in the wedding party.  I was not included in the wedding party or in any part of the ceremony. She would have parties and girls night out and not invite me.  I was crushed.  I went to the wedding shower.  She barely spoke to me.  I did not want to attend the wedding at this point.  My boyfriend talked me into going since he had to attend he was in the wedding party. 

When I got to the reception, she sat me with people who I did not know.  I believe they were casual acquaintences of hers.  There were other tables she could have put me where I got along and knew people, but she stuck me in the table far away from everyone.  I had no one to talk to.  I felt like a loser.  I felt like ****. I began drinking. I went outside and talked to some guys who were smoking.  The groom came out and told the guys to leave.  He then was rude to me and yelled at me for talking to guys when my boyfriend was inside.  My boyfriend does not get jealous and was just glad I found someone to talk to.  I was embarrased and devastated. I went home and cried my eyes out.  She never sent a thank you for the money I gave them (quite a bit).  He called up my boyfriend once to ask him to help him move.  My boyfriend refused. I never heard from them again.  I feel like such a loser to have been dropped as a friend. This happened two years ago and I still can't get over it.  I feel as if something is wrong with me.  I wasn'nt "good enough" to be her friend.  Please tell me what I can do to remove this pain from my heart.

Tumblindice Tumblindice
36-40, F
1 Response Aug 19, 2007

I agree with the previous poster and you are not a loser