It's been 3 1/2 years since my relationship with my bestfriend of 14 years ended. She appears in my dreams often and I am still left wondering what went wrong. The things she said to me... I am still in shock at how much she despised me even after all this time. She had a son when we were 17 and I was there for the delivery and helped her raise him... we were really close and I also miss him and wonder how he's doing. I found a picture of him on Facebook... he's grown so much. Last time I saw him he was a boy and now he's a teenager. I guess, I'm still trying to understand how someone you are bestfriends with and went through thick and thin with can hate me so much just because I decided to follow my dreams. I knew that she was envious of my freedom and she felt tided down... but I thought that she could still be happy for me. But I guess in the end... my life choices were so different from hers and she must have started to hate me for it. I don't know... i'm still struggling. In spite of the hateful and mean things she said to me that day and the fact that she obviously hates... I still miss her and care about her and wonder how she is doing. But if she really felt that way about me, I guess I am better off... but I still don't get it.