I Miss My Angel Baby...and No One Cares.

I got into a serious relationship in January of 2009. Though i was 14 and he was 15, we were both more mature than most of the people around us. About 3 months into the relationship we lost our virginities to each other and 2 weeks later i woke up and just... knew. I was pregnant.

Being young, my boyfriend was upset and couldnt deal with it. He stayed with me but was terrified. I felt completely different. Coming from a big family, i knew what love was and I wanted to be a mother. I knew we would have been able to raise our child and be happy. Even so, I took my pregnancy test and lied to him about the results because i couldn't take the look in his eyes.

9 weeks into the pregnancy, in June, i had a miscarriage.... I lost my baby. I couldnt tell my boyfriend until our one year anniversary. He has stayed with me, and at first he supported me, but he was angry with me for not telling him.

He feels that i make him out to be the bad guy because he thinks it was for the best and says I should be over it. Every time he says it was no big deal, my heart breaks.

I still have nightmares and blame myself. I cry too often and am more emotional than I used to be. I am now 16, and can't get over it.

He and my best friend are the only ones i confided to. He hates me for it, She forgot (and i suspect she thinks im lying...)

We are still together, but i dont know how to tell him that every time i look at him i feel worthless, depressed, and am reminded of my angel baby... and that him putting me down and blowing off my pain makes everything worse...

Being young i know that no one, unless they have gone through the pain of being a mother and having God adopt your baby, will take me seriously... but.. i need someone to talk to....
V159 V159
18-21
2 Responses Jul 19, 2010

I know how you feel..I'm sorry for your loss...i do the same thing so don't feel like your alone...if you need someone to talk to i'm here..take care..:)

I'm here darling I am so sorry for your loss I know exactly what your are going through you can talk to me I'm always here to hear you<br />
-Mary