My Brother Died At 29

my brother died of diabetic complications almost 2 months ago. its been really hard. i have nightmares that close people to me are going to die suddenly. and every time i wont see someone for a few weeks to a month i think they are also going to die. i think about him constantly and ill be having a happy day then all of a sudden get really sad.

i wish i was farther along on my grieving process but im not. i feel like i am bringing people down when i talk about him, but i cant help it. i love him so much and miss him. i dont know how to properly grieve because i would rather stuff my saddness inside than to become a victim of depression again in any form.

my brother didnt have to die. he got sick and within two days died. my family didnt know he was sick, he was with friends. we just got a call way afternoon and he was gone. he should have went to the hospital and he would have still been alive. i know i cant think this way but i cant get over that i dont have a brother anymore...

jason 6.3.2012
justjess85 justjess85
26-30, F
Jul 27, 2012