Brown Eyed Angel

It was 3 weeks ago tomorrow, I still awake at 3:19 am every morning. I keep my phone on vibrate as to not wake my sleeping babies. I thought it might be my alarm going off, but knew I had not slept all night. I looked at the screen of the phone as if I had never seen the number before. I was confused. Why would my dad be calling me at this time in the early morning. My heart skipped a beat. I answered the phone sleepy eyed, and heard devastation on the other end. My dad couldn't even tell me. He immediately asked to speak to my husband. I was hoping we were going to have to go bail him out of jail. I was never ready for what came next. "GJ" was in a motorcycle accident and he didn't make it..."WHAT, WHAT, WHAT"? I fell to the floor immediately and could not find words, or tears or any other form of emotion. I dialed my mother in laws phone number, and surprisingly she answered. I calmly asked her if she could come down and watch my kids. "GJ" is dead...
I don't remember the ride to my dads. 30 minutes or so with no recolection. It was still dark, and I saw people on the porch. I could see people but didn't really know who it was. I knew everyone was there. Everyone but him...The next few days are a blurr. The next few weeks are a blurr. I can't believe that he is gone. He is with her now. He is with our mother. She died in an accident 6 years ago on the same road. My heart hasn't accepted what I know in my mind to be true. I'm still waiting for him to call. My ears long to hear his humerous voice. I long to see his contagious smile. "GJ" was the center of our family. Since he was born, and especially since the tragic passing of our mother, I would have done anything for him. He was my heart...I would give anything to lay down in place of him...He was only 21. He deserved more. RIP baby brother...

mookie614 mookie614
31-35
Sep 20, 2012