6 Years.

*hugs* I am very sorry to hear that and will send you strength and healing.

I lost my brother in a car accident, Feb of 1999. I lived in denial for a while, really believing that it was all a big joke that was being played on me and that he would show back up sometime and we'd all have a big laugh. There was one particular moment when I was delivering chinese food and showed up at a house where they had an SUV just like his, same brand and color. I thought the whole joke was over and went to the door kinda excited. Imagine the disappointment when they just payed for their food and shut the door. That was a wake up for me and I've pretty much accepted his death by now, though I'll never be okay with it. Not getting to say goodbye to someone is the worst thing in the world. They're just gone, no bye- bye :-(

The pain will always be there. But eventually it just won't hurt as bad. It will be 20 years in a few weeks since my brother has passed away. We were both only children. He was 5 & I was 9. I thought the pain, confussion, anger & lonliness would never subdue. There are still many days I start to think about how my life would be different if he was here. Or even how my son's life would be different if he had his uncle in it. It will never go away, but you will learn how to cope with it. Just give it time. I wish you all the strength needed.

I lost my brother in 2000- he was 17 and I was 19. He was my best friend, in many ways we could've been twins. My heart is forever broken and sometimes I feel I will never fully be able to offer myself to anyone or anything because of this loss. But I know it gets easier because there are days where I don't think about him. I started writing a book recently about this and I was writing about a boy who decided not to committ suicide and when I finished with the outline I felt a moment of relief. I had to shake myself to realize that it's not real. He really did choose to die and this book won't bring him back. It's not going to be easy but we're all survivors.

Wow, so may brothers have been lost!
I am very sorry to hear these sad stories and y heart is
sorrowful, yet these stories make me wonder how you are coping, what happened to them, and what would you want to teach a boy, knowing what you know now.

R

He is alive in your memory. Your feelings are natural and human. You loved your brother.

As long as you live, he does, at least in your memory, as
Mardetroid pointed out. War is senseless period. Necessary period. And, I am so very thankful for those who fight to keep or freedom.

R

I'm very sorry about your brother, I lost mine 9 months ago and it still doesnt seem real, there is not a day that goes by that I dont think of him in some way. Sometimes the smallest thing will remind of him and the first thought that comes to mind is 'oh I shoudl call and tell him' then I remember hes not there. I know theres nothing to say that will ease you pain, all I can say is just remember him and don't let anyone tell you to "get over it" some things shouldnt be "gotten over".

I feel for you. I am there right now