Print
Aug 27th, 2007
3470 Views
8 recs
20 Comments
I
lost my brother when he was barely 5 years old. I was only 9 years old. He was my only sibiling (@ the time) & my best friend. I can remember every little detail of that day. I can see him lying in the hospital bed, my entire family crammed in his little room. All eyes were on him. I began to watch the monitor & slowly see his heartbeat decreasing. He is still. He is calm. I feel my aunt put her hand on my shoulder. I watch my grandfather walk out, he is to proud to cry in front of us. Then, all is silent. The tears begin to flow.
I'm too young, I do not understand. Why isn't somebody trying to prevent this? Where are all the nurses & doctors? Yet, nobody budges. It seemed like an eternity before we went home. I still had not shed a tear. Then as soon as I enter our house, I run into his room & lay on his bed. The emotions finally hit me & I begin to hug his pillow with all my might and rock myself on his bed. He is gone, and I don't undertand why. I eventually started to ask questions, but every time it just made my parents cry. I thought I was causing them more pain & decided to keep to myself.
To this day I still bottle up any negative feelings in the fear of making others upset. My parents adopted my little sister when I was 13. Because of the huge age difference I never have had a bond with her like I did with my brother. In a month it will be 20 years since my brother's death, yet it's the most vivid childhood memory I have. I will love you always & will never forget you. One day we will laugh again.
 Comment (20)
 Share Your Story
 Flag
|
| Comment on this Story | |
  | Posted Mar 23rd, 2008 at 7:44AM I am so sorry for your loss. We can never replace the ones we have loved, we can only honor them by remerging why we loved them so much. It was wrong of you family to burry those good memories with the tragedy of watching him die. Good luck to you.   |
 | Posted Oct 3rd, 2008 at 9:17AM you story is trully heart touching. i see you have a very strong and solid memory of your brother, and the time you both spent together was enough to prove he was the brother you ever wanted, and inded your best friend in friendship and blood. i can`t imagine such a loss, it would to be too great to handle, as much as the loss of a loving life partner. |
| Posted Oct 3rd, 2008 at 9:22AM you story is trully heart touching. i see you have a very strong and solid memory of your brother, and the time you both spent together was enough to prove he was the brother you ever wanted, and inded your best friend in friendship and blood. i can`t imagine such a loss, it would to be too great to handle, as much as the loss of a loving life partner. |
 | Posted Oct 3rd, 2008 at 10:13AM I lost my brother almost 10 years ago now (he died 2 December 1998) to a heroin overdose. I have never recovered from this. It still seems like yesterday when I got the news he had died. My own little theory about this (for what it's worth) is that a part of us gets stuck in that one moment in time. We age, and grow and progress, but a part of us can never move on from that moment. I miss him every day. I wish I could see him, just one more time. I know we will meet again. I know how you feel. Lots of hugs, Tense. |
| Posted Oct 3rd, 2008 at 10:29AM I am sorry for that my friend, I can imagine how hard it feels...I've never had a brother, but I knew what it feels like with interexchanges, and saying goodbye to them was very difficult for me...I hope you keep well in your life |
 | Posted Oct 3rd, 2008 at 11:11AM I, too, lost a brother. Is it too late to talk about him now with your elders who also knew him? It was too painful then, but now I find talking about my brother and laughing over things he would find funny keeps him alive in the family as he is already in all of our individual thoughts. +2 nods |
 | Posted Oct 3rd, 2008 at 1:12PM I also lost my brother when I was young. We were four years apart. My parents had two families, my older siblings were 16 and 10 years older than me. My brother had been sick for a long time and I was the one who found him on the day he died. I can understand all of what you said. It doesn't get better, but it does get easier to remember him. For me, it has been 32 years since that day. +2 nods |
 | Posted Oct 3rd, 2008 at 5:10PM In traumatic situations in life we are not sure how we are supposed to react. My husband was adopted at 18 months of age and there is a lot of question about what happened to him those first 18 months. His biological mother was a drug addict. She passed away about two years ago, I could have contacted her and I didn't because of my husbands wishes. I have always wanted closure for him about who his real father is and what really did happen. My point in this if you would still like to have answers please try to get them, don't wait until it is too late. I would love to help you with this process if you need it. Also, some very good things were a result of his death it is sometimes hard to realize them but try. Your sister probably would have never come into your family and I'm sure that there were people he knew or touched in his death that were changed forever in a positive way. |
 | Posted Oct 5th, 2008 at 4:14AM I am very sorry for your loss. I have also lost people that were dear to me. I believe that we need to live for them and "through" them. They are watching over us and are with us every step of the way. |
 | Posted Oct 6th, 2008 at 1:23AM Thank you all for your comments, they are very heart felt & warming. My heart goes out to all of those who have also lost a loved one in their life. I know it's the circle of life & all of us must eventually perish, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Just a few weeks ago, it was the 21st anniversary of my brother's death. It was extremely hard for me this year because my son is now 4 years old, & so much that he does reminds me of my brother. & yet at the same time I am so nervous about what if I lose him too. I know I can't live my life on the "what ifs," but they sure know how to make my imagination run away from me. & usually my imagination runs into nightmares. |
Share Your Comment
...then continue the discussion in the story's forum or, send this story to a friend
|
Polls for I Lost My Brother
Here are some polls created by members of this group: See more polls for I Lost My Brother, or create your own poll |
Questions & Answers for I Lost My Brother
Here are a few Questions and Answers for I Lost My Brother
| Lost My Brother Open Questions |
| There are no open questions yet. Why not ask a question now? |
| Lost My Brother Resolved Questions |
| There are no resolved questions yet. Why not answer a question now? |
|
Forum & Chat Board for I Lost My Brother
Here are popular forum topics for I Lost My Brother See the Lost My Brother forum to chat about these topics and more! |
|
Music, Song, Artist, Book and Movie Recommendations
|
|
Show this Story's Author Some Love
There's lots of ways to show you appreciated this person's story from the experience group, I Lost My Brother. Send them a virtual gift, make a gesture, scribble on their whiteboard, or send them a private message. |
|
Translate this Story
Read this story in your own language
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||
Be a part of the biggest social experience on the web. Where who you are is more important than who you know. Share what matters the most and find others who just "get it."
Join now and get started in seconds, or learn more about Experience Project
Your experiences are something to be proud of! Show off your number of experiences with widgets for your blog, Facebook, or wherever!
Get your badge!
Of course, we love to hear Your Story, whatever it happens to be. You can be yourself here!
|
|||||||||||
