Four years ago my world came crashing down as I watched my brother die of a major stroke. He was only 46 years old and had only just begun to put his life back together after alot of grief and sorrow. Each day I miss his smile and the way he made me feel safe in an otherwise unsafe world. Each day I take one more step in the recovery of grief and I only hope for peace now. Every year at the time of his anniversary my heart just stops as I hold my breath waiting for the phone call that will tear down my fragile world again. To add to the grief my other brother has just survived a minor stroke so my life has been a balancing act on a fine tightrobe that I feel could crumble at any moment.