I Give My Child Up.

I give my child up.
I lost the change to raise my child to depression and to bipolar and voices.

I don't think it is fair what this illness can do to us.

It can take your chanse to raise a Child.

He to now as the illness worse then me.
I heard.

He raise 2 kids.
He is luck that he can.

But I could never.
The depression land me in bed.
I turn to alcholica and drugs.
It was so bad.

But the illness robbed me of raiseing my own child.
I hope you out there don't have kind luck.

I wish you all the luck out there in the world .
That Bipolar and the voice don't robbe you of that.

It is a terrible feeling to have.
That you can not share the time with the one you brought in the world.

Lashanda
lashanda lashanda
51-55, F
2 Responses Mar 20, 2007

Your story brought tears to my eyes, i suffer from clinical depression and when i went through my divorce my BIGGEST fear was that my now ex-husband would use my illness against me and take my kids from me. I was LUCKY, he didn't do that and i have an excellent psynchiatrist that eventually over a VERY long time found the medication that could help me the best. i still have days where i literally can not get out of bed, my boys are 13 and 11, when i am at my WORSE i am still lucky enough to meet their basic needs. BUT that is only due to the fact that i have an EXCELLENT doctor and it took me a LONG time to find the right doctor. i don't think anyone other then a mother can imagine the devastation of losing their child. How you are surviving is a testimony to your strength and determination DESPITE having to deal with what i would consider to be the WORSE case scenario. People need to understand that ANY type of mental illness is NO ONE's fault, like someone having cancer is not their fault. i wish to GOD that some amazing Doctor could have helped you better and i grieve with you for your lost. There are NO words i can say to make you feel even a tiny bit better so i won't be stupid enough to even try. What happened is and was and will always be DEVESTATING to you, you are in my prayers!! Gentle hugssssssss!!

I am so sorry that this illness has taken your child away from you. I know it must be hard. At leasts you know your child will be raised with what he/she needs. Sorry you could not give that to your child. It is not fair. Hope you can get through it.