I Lost My Child To Cancer

My heart  aches so much while reading all your stories because last october 2009 I also lost my boy to malignant brain tumour, he is 3 and a half year old. the painful thing is we didn't know that he had cancer until to the last minute that he went to a coma, the only symptoms that he had showed us was vomiting. We took him to the hospital a few times but they can't see any problems because when they looked at him he was a very happy and active boy running around in the hospital, they sent him to have an x-ray on his tummy and there they saw that he was constipated so they gave him tablets to loosen up the stool. It works because it went for weeks that he did not vomit but the following weeks it got worse.We took him back to the hospital he was so sick and keeps on vomiting on our way there..he looked so pale..crying with pain. They admitted him for observation.while waiting for the doctor to come round I keep asking my boy where is pain but he keeps on crying and then he asked me to take him to the toilet and after that I put him to bed  and tried to put him to sleep while I sang his favourite lullabye song.
The doctor came and looked at my son ..he looked a bit uneasy and asked us a lot of question and he told us it looks like your son is in coma..even him he don't understand why? he even told us maybe it's a diabetic coma..we don't understand what's happening more doctors and nurses came and they transfer him to another room for more test. that was the beggining of my nightmare. the doctor came and told us that they need to transfer my boy to another hospital immediately to have a scan so off we went.  My boy went for scan and a moment later a surgeon came to see us and lead us to a room where he told us the result. He had a malignant Cancer and its already spread all over his brain..it's unoperable but they still did the operation. After the operation I saw my son again it was so painful seeing him with tubes all around him, I was so angry to myself why I did not see it I should know that there is something wrong with him....few days gone still no improvement until his totally brain dead but we are still hoping for miracles, doctors and nurses are praying with us and they are very supportive. I am a christian and i believe in God every night I ask God for miracle because i believed he is the only one who can saved my son now...but then october 29 at 2 am we received a call that my son had a cardiac arrest and he died. I can't describe the pain I felt that night I don't know what to think but I turned to God and ask him to give me understanding and strength to deal all this and he did. I thank God for giving us those special few days to be with  our son while he was in coma so we can say our goodbyes and we shall see him soon.
It's nearly a year now but still crying every night thinking of him but to think that he is an angel now and he is with God it comforts me a lot.

He have a little brother that he left behind he is now 20 months old..he is growing just like his big brother. Someday I will tell everything about his big brother how special he is.

maridave maridave
3 Responses Aug 25, 2010

Hi there i Have read your story and my hart is going out to you i feel your pain, i can say i know how it feel i can't do anything to make it better only that i can pray for you and i will pray that God will have his wonderfull blessing hand over you and keep you safe and warm.

i lost my 11 year old son 2 weeks ago to a brain tumour he is my only child the pain is so so bad

How are you doing?