One Fathers Loss

Lost my little girl 19 years ago to Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). Still cry, still sad. No other children but her. She was born healthily so we thought. After a month old and feeding her she would stop breathing. I brought her to the hospital to be checked out. Because it was my first child they thought I was just nervous. This happened again to which I was sent home. Until her 2 month check up all our lives fell apart. My child was hooked up to all these machines and given blood to counter her high white blood cell count.
She fought a courageous battle but lost it after 15 months. A few months latter my marriage fell apart. Luckily I met someone after without the desire to have children, I never wanted to feel that pain again. I moved from that city and only go back to visit family and the gravesite.

Custominstalls Custominstalls
41-45, M
2 Responses Sep 9, 2012

I can relate to your life falling apart when you got the news. I have gone through the same thing, you feel totally helpless and the fact your marriage fell apart too (same for me) it was like getting hit from both sides. It has been almost 2 years since my son passed away, he battled with ALL for 7 years of his life (the majority of his life) and I miss him everyday and I have just found a way to just "live with it". Easier said than done, but no one can ever take away the love you felt and still do for your daughter and I'm glad to hear you moved on.

I feel for you. You're still a dad, and always will, even with your child gone.
Life is the hardest test, and we all fail to perform at it, at the end of the day.
I send you a friendly regard, from France.
Be well.