I Will Always Love My Children

I have been alienated from my three daughters for more than 10 years.  My family means everything to me.  My life and my heart was being a full time mother, care giver, breadwinner, nurse, sewer, chauffuer, bank, cook, cleaner, puke cleaner upper, homework helper and sick pet fixer.  I attended all concerts, sports events, teacher interviews, and play groups.  I had sole custody and provided every care and necessity of life for them, while he did nothing but fill their heads with hateful ideas about me.  I was stupid, a bad mother, I didn't love them, they shouldn't listen to me etc. etc.  Even though I was thier sole provider and care giver, they still listened to him.  He was abusive and I think they were afraid to disagree, and by agreeing to make him happy, they eventually came to believe the poison themselves. 

One by one, he managed to talk them into leaving home as teens to go and live with him, or to run away to live with a boyfriend.  He actually encouraged my middle daughter to go and live with her boyfriend at the age of 15, just to kill me a little more through her.  He would be the perfect foil for a rebellious teenager and give them complete freedom, they could come and go as they pleased, but those experiences all ended badly too.  They eventually wised up to his abusive ways and made their own decision to stop seeing him when they were in their 20's, but the damage was done, and they still carry the rejection of me that he instilled in them. 

Two of them have no contact with me what so ever.  I have tried for years to maintain contact through phone calls, and email but they never respond.  It has dwindled down now to birthdays and christmas; I get their contact information from Facebook.  My oldest daughter will contact me periodically when she needs something like a really big favour or money.  I mean really big favours; the kind where I am supposed to not go in to work for a day or several days in order to go and help her out, or leave myself with no grocery money.  As pathetic as this sounds, I have done this many times.  When the favour is done, I don't hear from her again for months and months.  She will not allow me to hug her, or touch her in any way.  She yanks herself away as though she had been touched by poison.  I have gone in for these hurtful encounters because it is the only contact I have with any of my children, and I am dying.  When I see her, I can faintly see her sisters too in her resemblance of them; so I go just to be able to feel their presence in the same room with me.  My mom and dad are both passed away, my only sibling is severly mentally handicapped from a birth accident, and is in a long-term care facility.  I wake every night as though from a nightmare, to realize it is not a dream, this has actually happened to me.  The damage from parental alienation is permanent.  People tell you it will all work out to make themselves feel better about your situation.  Because being completely abandoned and left all alone in this world is a horrifying prospect, and they don't want to face it either. 

If your spouse has started down this path with your children, put a full stop to it now!  You have legal means to help you that were not available for me - the term "Parental Alienation" did not even exist back then.  Don't dream that the kids will come around one day, it just doesn't happen that way.