17 Years Of StruggleMy daughter (now 17, almost 18) has been living 50/50 with her father and I since she was 10 months old. Initially he fought for full custody, and we had a 2 year battle. Over the last 17 years we have been in and out of court - the last time he tried to enroll her in high school in another state.
My daughter's alliance and loyalty to her father grew stronger over the years, as her disrespect and disregard for me continued to grow. After the high school disagreement was settled, things settled down and it seemed that my daughter was once again letting me in her life. She confided with me more and more about her friends, boyfriend, school, etc. She even said "I love you, mom" a few times. For the last three years, it seemed that things had improved a little.
Last week I came home from work and found a note on the table with her keys, debit card, and everything had been cleared out of her bedroom. The note said that since she was nearly 18 she wanted to live full time with her dad. She said she could no longer keep a relationship with me since I am "controlling" and "possessive" (which I am far from). Her father would say that I'm selfish to want to spend time with her or see her at all - that it takes focus away from her school, sports and friends. (Even though I have spent most of my time with her driving her to and from her events, and anything he wants to do with her is "important").
So it seems I have just experienced a "parentectomy". I can't say that I'm surprised after 17 years of abuse, but all the same I am devastated. My daughter is just beginning her senior year of high school, and I wanted to share that year with her.
Since she has been subjected to constant brainwashing since she was 10 months old, I am not very hopeful about the future. I am in need of support and guidance at this point... Thanks for listening.
Pujapuppy 46-50, F 4 Responses 1 Aug 5, 2012