Just Getting StartedThe first time I ever knew real love is when I was 27. I gave birth to a beautiful boy. Now, 27 years later he isn't speaking to me. There is a long, twisted, sad but also times sometimes beautiful and happy story leading up to his birth. And until today. It would take hours to tell, and there are much more dramatic and interesting stories on here. Sometimes it feels like a Shakespearean tragedy!! It's a story that I'm not sure would be believed. Sometimes I can't even believe it myself!!
All I know is that my son and I, as well as my daughter and I, used to have good, healthy, loving relationships. But a force for what I can only call "evil" came between us and drove them away from me.
I love my daughter very much also! She came a couple of years after her brother and was a delight from day one! But today marks the 5 year anniversary of her bitterly disowning me with no warning or valid reason.
If I could explain the pain - no. I cannot. All I know is that I can't believe I'm still alive.
It's not just pain. It's also confusion, loss, disbelief. These kids loved me! Everyone knew it!!
But now somehow I am suspect. Amazing how far the arm of bitter hatred and jealousy can reach.
I am OUTRAGED!! Someone DID THIS to my children on purpose! It's not because of anything I have done, not to them anyway.
I never loved him. He was abusive and obsessed from the start. I looked elsewhere for love and understanding. He knew it, but would never ever say a word. He married me anyway. Not long after the kids arrived he let his inner monster all the way out, with the help of alcohol. I had to get away for my own sanity. Millions upon millions of women throughout time know that feeling.
More next time.
ladyfuschia 51-55, F 3 Responses 0 Jan 9, 2013