I Will Never Forgive Or Forget.
When I divorced my first wife after 12 years of mostly unhappy marriage I made the mistake of underestimating what a psychotic vengeful ***** she was. We had discussed divorce and I told her that I needed to not be married to her. She had cheated, lied, stolen, and even abused the children. She even had sex with my cousin, my sister-in-law and my brother. She quit her job but got dressed up as if she was going to work each day and bragged about it to her mother. She maxed out all of the credit cards on herself and her friends. She told me that she hated having children and needed to find herself so we agreed to have a no-fault divorce and got a lawyer to wrap things up. She moved out and left me with the children, girls ages 13 and 8 who were my reason for living and working and the loves of my life.
One day shortly after she left I went to pick the girls up from school. They were gone! The school told me that they had a court order not to release any information about the children to me and an order barring me from being within 1000 feet of the school. The police ran me away. Within an hour or two I was served with divorce papers from her new lawyer. The ***** had accused me of molesting the girls and a judge barred me from seeing them. My heart was broken. I couldn't imagine life without my girls. She didn't even want them. She took them and lied because it was the only way that she could hurt me. After a year and a half of legal delays and accusations, including the judge demanding an explanation for my being the head of a coven of witches, spousal rape, hiding a vast fortune, being a drug dealer, domestic violence, and being raided by a swat team looking for drugs and weapons, I was forced out of my house. At the divorce hearing, I was told that girls should be with their mother. I was declared to be a non-person in their lives. I never saw them again since she had all the say on visitation. She told them that I had abandoned them and did not love them.
The courts would not help me at all. But it is interesting that in time both girls attempted suicide more than once and the youngest was institutionalized for a while. The youngest contacted me earlier this year. She's married for the second time and off of medications. She told me what hell life has been and how her mother still meddles in her life. She asked why I didn't want to see them any more. She remembered that we used to have fun together. I'm a hard case most times but it made me cry to hear of her pain.
Forgiveness does not heal everything. My only regret is that I did not kill the ***** and give the children a chance at happiness. That is my personal hell.