I Miss You So!

This was my first Thanksgiving without you, one of many firsts I'm sure I will have to learn to live with......
I missed our time, making a pie together, how we would get into a flour war, and cover our kitchen with a blanket of white....how we would eat with just candles and the fireplace....and listen to the first sounds of Christmas on the radio.....
I miss picking you up from school....watching you run to my truck....and wrapping your arms around my neck....

I cleaned your room last week.....i cried as I thought of how your stuffed toy dog "REX" has sat on the edge of your bed waiting for you to come home.....waiting for you to play with him again....I know it sounds silly, but I bring him with when I come to visit you......I think it helps me more than him.

I worry sometimes.....worry that you are alone, or afraid, and that I can't protect you......and then I realize that it's me that's alone and afraid......that it was you who protected me...
when you would fall asleep with me on the couch....how safe I felt....how nothing could ever hurt us....because we were together.

sometimes I call out your name....expecting to hear you laugh....waiting to hear you answer me .....and then my heart breaks again....realizing you're not there.....
Realizing that I will never hear the words....."I love you daddy....." ...again.
I know I can get through this......I know you will help me....
LuJuan....even though I can't hear you.....I know you can hear me....."daddy loves you"
harleylover1970 harleylover1970
41-45, M
3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

that is very sad indeed, your story hurt my heart very much. It is an injustice that we keep living and growing older year by year without our loved ones

I can't even begin to imagine......my heart aches just reading your words....I'm here if you need ....

So moving, harley. My eyes welled for your loss. I am so sorry :(

Thank you ......each day is a challenge....some days are better than others......
I appreciate your caring words...

I can only imagine...can't think of a more difficult thing for a person to face. I am sending best thoughts your way.