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I Lost My Desire to Live

Emptiness

By: Gtakilla92
Written on April 21st, 2012
I Have A Problem That Am Hoping Someone could help me on.
Am 19 and have fallen Completly in LOVE with this girl who now is a close friend, she is to me just PERFECT I could have not imagine her any better. But she has a BF which she is living with and she sometimes gives clues that she is wanting to leave him. But what I don't want is to tell her to move in then feel all like Uncomfitible. Before I started talking to her she was just a girl who was there u know I didn't like her,I didnt pay attention to her. But once I started to talk to her and she some what open her trust to me I just fell in love with her because to me she I that girl who has gone thru hell and back and still smiles to I just love her. Not to long ago somebody mention to her that I like her and she texted me about it and she told me she likes me too but she still has a BF and I didn't want to just say come live with me cuz I was nervous. Now time has passed and my feelings for her have just grown more but I guess her feelings for me decreased to the point where she sees me as just friends. She has told me a funny thing that she is Completly in love with this other boy and she feels she can never bee with him because her has a girl too. So it's funny for me because the way she feels about him, I feel about her :(
And the reason I ask for help is because my purpose in life is to help EVERYONE, mostly my family because they have been broke all there lives. I feel god gave me a reason to be on this earth and that is to help those people in need. My goal to become helpfull to my family money wise is to become an MMA fighter and since I was a kid I set my goal to be one no matter how painful. But now with all this Problem with this girl I have Completly lost my motivation and also I lost who I was so now I feel Completly empty and feel like I just wanna die, but because I lost my motivation to help people. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME AM NOT A PRETTY BOY WHO ONLY THINKS ABOUT MY SELF I DEEPLY WANT TO HELP THOSE PEOPLE WHO NEED IT, SO I ASK IF ANYBODY COULD HELP ME AND GIVE MY ADVICE. Thank you
By: Gtakilla92
Age: 18-21 , Male
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5 responses
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    Gtakilla92
    Gtakilla92

    Thank you SOO much. From te time when I wrote this to now I feel so much better, like if am on my road to recovery and that's thanks to ur encouraging and uplifting words. I feel like am getting over this girl now and am starting to get my life back but I just can't help it to feel in the back of my heart that maybe one day we could be together even tho we are close to graduating and she's moving somewhere else :/ but thank you very much :)

    Apr 27, 2012
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    o4komodo
    o4komodo

    Sorry about the late reply.

    I'm glad you found new hope, there's always another reason to carry on and smile.

    Be happy! =]



    In all honesty, most people would probably tell you to not even bother and just move on. But I understand some people need some sort of... stepping stone for closure---if you know what I mean.

    If you believe that letting her know how you feel one last and final time will help you move on then by all means go for it.

    Just make sure that when you decide to move on, commit fully to it.

    You're not weak hearted, it's normal to have those feelings around her---even in this whole swirl-of-a-mess. I don't blame you--and neither should you.

    Also, remember that... by moving on and leaving her behind. You're taking time to take care of you. You need to get over her and let you be you.



    If she has any regards to your feelings what-so-ever and values any part of your friendship or how much you two have bonded... then she should realize and understand that you will need your alone time. She should realize and understand that you can't be there for her for the time being---because, again, you need to be there for yourself first.

    But, when she comes to you----and you feel that things are definitely tough for her... then by all means help her if you must. Just remember not to let it sucker your feelings in for her again.



    You seem like a good person. So just remember, blood is thicker than water. Family always comes first. That includes yourself.

    Apr 23, 2012
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      Gtakilla92
      Gtakilla92

      I finally did it. I told the girl my feelings and told her I need to know if we would be together or not and it didnt go good as I expected but I told her how I exactly feel. It hurts so much right now am sorry to tell you my pitiful life. I just feel I new someone by me right now. Sorry

      Jun 4, 2012
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    o4komodo
    o4komodo

    You may feel you love this girl... but trust me when I say... You'll want to find a girl who can love you for you. Who can love YOU AND ONLY YOU.



    If you think that she is this perfect girl now... just wait till you find someone who can share the same feelings you have.

    Believe me... it'll be amazing, nothing like you've ever dared to dream of.



    When times are tough... just say, Oh well... Forget it. And move on from this girl.

    I'm sure you're a great guy too. So you should continue being great.

    Be the person you are and the person you want to be.

    One day... when things turn around for you. When you find someone who loves you for you, who loves you and only you. She'll see how happy you are. She'll see and think... "that could have been me."

    Apr 21, 2012
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      Gtakilla92
      Gtakilla92

      :D Thank YOU SOOO MUCH!!!!!
      I Dont Think U Could Inagine How Glad U Have Made Me, Just Reading This I Feel Like I've Been Lifted Up From This Empty Feeling! U Don't Know How Much U Have Helped Me, I Felt Like Life Was Over For Me Because I Lost Motivation But Thank You I Let Out Tears Of Joy Just Reading This. But If I Could Bother U And Ask U One Thing It would to tell me what u thing about -> During This Morning I Was Thinking About Telling Her how I felt about her again but end the conversation by telling her that I won't talk to her anymore because I know am weak hearted and I know I can't help it but like her when am next to her. So I was think of just parting ways to help me move on from this bad feeling. And also I forgot to mention that when I was getting to know her she was going thro alot and i made her a promise that I will always be there for her no matter what. And in my life I only made one promise and that was to myself when I was 7 and it was to get my family out of the poverty. So I just feel so confused on what to do.

      Apr 21, 2012
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