Coming Home, But You're Not There...

I'm 14 years old and my father passed away december 31, 2011...not even 5 months ago. I remember the day just like it was yesterday. It was december 23, 2 days before christmas, and my mom and dad were laughing and woke me up. I went in the room and gave dad a hug as he said he was about to go to work. Before he left he made me breakfast and brought it to my room. I remember it had stopped raining but it was still wet outside. I asked him how he was going to work(he was a roofer) and he said he was just going to check up there and he'll be home in a little bit. Well, i didnt know that would be the last time i'd see him..and i wish i would have just hugged him and kept him home with me. Later on, my mom got a phone call. She was asleep so me and my sister were debating whether to answer it or not. We didnt and my sister saw that there was a voicemail, she listened and i could tell by her face that something happened. I got a thought that my dad fell off a roof, just because its happened two times in the past, and i just got a feeling. She ran into the other room to awake my mother and told her what happened, my dad had fallen off a scaffle as he was roofing. My sister kept calm thinking this was just like the other two times he fell off, but this time was different. This time he was unconscious and the pegasus were on their way. We got to the hospital and i went back to see dad, worst moment ever cause i couldnt stand to see him in the condition he was in. We stayed with him for 8 days in the hospital until we found out the swelling in the brain wasn't improving and it had swollen over to the point where he would become a vegetable. It was at that point that we had to make a decision and we decided to take him off life support. Its hard not being able to have his smiling face in the crowds at my softball games. I miss coming home from school and giving him a hug. I miss everything about it and it hurts to hear "oh hes in better place"cause why is heaven a better place then having him here with me? I just miss having him here and hearing his voice and nothing can make it better.
softball1 softball1
2 Responses May 14, 2012

I know that there's nothing anyone can say that will make things better, or that will make the pain go away, but if it helps, I lost my dad when I was the same age as you, fourteen. I'm now 19, and I'm not going to tell you it just goes away, missing him, because it doesn't, but it DOES get better. Every year that goes by makes things a little easier. Holidays can be hard, Christmas and birthdays, and the anniversary of his death, and there will be some days when you just miss him, but there will also be some days where you can almost feel him with you, and where you will feel happy, and you should know that that's okay too, being happy doesn't mean that you don't love him. I hope everything gets better for you, and I'm so so sorry for your loss!

I'm sorry to hear about your father :( I know nothing can make it better but please know that he is watching over you. <3