Miss You Dad ;(

When i was 15 almost 16 my father always talked about his leg hurting a bit, but i never thought of anything serious about it, until it got worse and worse, and i began to worry a bit, then he finally got scanned and we got the bad news he had cancer permanent cancer, it was only in his leg, so i never really thought it was that bad, until the cancer spread to his bones, lungs and brain, when i got the news it made a huge hole in my heart, i simply just broke, i knew i was gonna lose him soon, he lost his hair, he couldnt really walk anymore, he was always just in his bed, but even though he had it so bad, he still did everything to help me with anything till the very end, he always thought about others then himself, he was too kind,he always smiled not to look sad, not to make us cry, he died the 12th of september 2010, he was/is the best person in my life, even now i think about him every little second that goes by, i am so lonely without him, he is the reason i really wanna live, without him i feel like i have lost my reason to live, and im not scared of dying anymore, the second i die is the second ill see him again, i know hes waiting for me together with grandfather, though i cant leave my brother sister and mother alone, they would break down if i died too, so theyre my reason for living right now, but i know i will see him again when my time comes, and that is the only thing that keeps me going right now, i am so happy that he heard me before he died, and that he could look at me, in his bed, i just woke up in the last second, if i had woken up 4 min later, he would had died alone, i am so happy that he died with me by his side, i love you dad and always will, until we meet again dad, ill tell you all about my life after you died by then <3 you survived 2 years with the cancer, you really have a strong soul, i am so proud of you <3 he got 50 years old.
skatermark skatermark
18-21, M
2 Responses Oct 6, 2010

May his soul rest in peice. May GOD give you strength to overcome. I lost my father too this year in Nov. Can't express his pain that he was going thru. God bless you dear.

;'(((( i am crying so much right now, reading ur story.... i am so sad, this sounds like my fathers story. my dad has cancer now and has been strugling with it for 1,5 year.... he has only weeks left, i dont know what to do. i dont want to live i hate cancer, it destroyes lifes...why must life be so cruel...why ;(( inshallah i will be strong enough to live through the pain when he passes away...oh god i wish this had happende to me instead.... i hate cancer....i hate it!!! my tears wont stop, i am lost.... and my sister is pregnant, with her first child....why this two things at same time, i dont understand.... a miracle and a sorrow....