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Emptinessss I Feel

I am a 13 years old girl who just lost my father recently apri l8 2011. My family and i lost my father from pancreatic cancer. he battled pancreatic for 9 month me and my famil and my daddy we always had hope especially him he would be planning our next vacations or next family events, that how determine he was to get better. My daddy did his best he didnt stop chemo treatment till the end end and that wasnt his choice the doctor told him there was nothing left to do and he should just spend the time he has in peace not in pain from the chemo. Since my dad died i am having mix emotions i feel like there a huge part of me missing and that i cant live without. I also have 3 brothers 2 older one and a twin brother they misss him so munch to and even if my family dotn talk about hiow much we miss him you could just see it in everyones eyes at the kitchen table we still laugh and talk but u feel the emptiness of it especially my dad was a big talker his voice was so loud and we loves the whole thing especially my mom she really misses my dad even if she saids everything alright i can see it in her eyes the sadness in her. Even if shes sad she still put on a brave face for us and try to makes things as easy and simple and same it was before as possible my mom is the one of the most strongest people in the world even a couple days before his death she would be making sure hes okay and we r to. the day i found out my dad was dieing it felt like getting stabbed so hard in the heart and stomach and taht theres a part of me that left and i am scared ill never get it back i just wanted to share this because my dad was a beautiful and strong person and i know he mine and my family guarding angel for life i love u daddy and i misss uu sososo much 
12zaze12 12zaze12 13-15 1 Response Nov 8, 2011

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I am so so sorry. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 17 in 2008. My heart is so heavy to read that someone else has suffered something similar to what I went through at such a young age. It's strange but I feel my father everywhere. His spirit is always with you and If you pay attention you will always feel him come to you when you need him. Be your mothers best friend. talk, laugh, cry let yourself feel the emotions. Writing on here is very helpful, and healthy with lots of support. I made the mistake of pretending I was fine and its much harder to hold in tears then it is to hug someone and work through your emotions. Thinking of you, keep your chin up :)