Lost My Dad To Terminal Bladder Cancer at 17

my dad passed away on the 7th march 2012 after haveing advanced bladder cancer for a year he was haveing chemo then he couldnt cope it seemed to make him worse than better he whent in and out of hospital haveing blood transfusion`s and chemo he only had 3 chemo sessions before dr`s decided to stop and it became terminal im only 17 and i was so close to my dad i was such a daddys girl  and this was alot for me to take i looked after him for months before my mum had to give up her job i had no support from anyone i felt so alone in this, he never liked to admit it was terminal he was hanging on to hope it was the most horrific thing i have even seen he got so thin and weak he could not even walk in the end we decided to take him into the hospice and a day n half later he passed away i was not there to say goodbye witch i regret i just dont see myself getting over it but im so young to be dealing with this.